3 Reasons You're Unsatisfied With Adulthood

And how to change your mindset to get more out of life.

Wincing at life. Illustrated by the author.

I bet you thought becoming an adult would be so much fun. You would have complete control of your life, no parents telling you what to do.

Thinking the same almost ruined me when I got out in my twenties. "Wait. You mean I have to make all the decisions now and stop blaming everything on my parents?"

Yup. It gets real, real fast.

“As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.”
― David Sedaris, Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls

I get what makes it feel sucky at times as a creative professional, husband, and father through more than twenty-five years of adult life after college under my belt.

I learned it’s about more than just screaming "Life sucks!" every time events don't go your way. Paying attention to these three reasons below can help you stay confident while slaying adulting.

1. Life is complicated no matter where you are on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Life is tough no matter what. How much you have or gain doesn't exclude you from the difficulties life throws at you constantly. I know you want more out of it, and for a good reason, but you forget, or perhaps aren't appreciating, everyone isn't in the same place as you.

Even if they were, it wouldn't matter anyway. Hard to hear, perhaps, but taking an honest look at where we are right now can help give you perspective.

Understanding where you are on the hierarchy of needs pyramid can help you know where you're going and give you faith things can improve.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs poster courtesy of playvolutionhq.com.

Let's say you reached the top. Self-actualization is all yours now. All your financial needs are taken care of; you have time to create, have meaningful relationships, and control your daily schedule. Does this mean nothing negative will ever happen to you?

When life is going insanely well, we tend to despise setbacks when they happen, almost as if we've earned the right not to have to deal with them. It's almost as if only the good things should be in our lives because we have it so good.

Consequently, if we're towards the bottom of the pyramid and our basic needs aren't being met, we want to climb up and believe getting more will solve all our problems. Life will be easier when you're at the top but not devoid of tough times.

You'll be in a more balanced place to deal with the poop as it flies at you, but no amount of security, money, or love can stop the truth of life.

Bad things happen to good people. So, accept it, take full responsibility when it all goes sideways and take care of what's necessary to get your life back on track.

The excellent news, hard times can and will get better, even if it doesn't feel that way today.

2. You think successful people are 100% happy

Striving to become a better person is good, and only working your a$$ off to buy a bigger house is not.

Scrolling social media makes you jealous of others and their perceived joyful and prosperous life, and it's never as great as it looks. Still, you want to do more, have more, and be more because you see it's possible.

The people you admire as successful do not have a perfect life, and an ideal life doesn't exist. With all the money and power, the CEO you gawk at could be having marital problems at home or health issues they're hiding from the public.

We're all battling something.

Admiring the success of others is inspiring and can fill you with joy. Put keep your mind in the reality zone. Adulthood should be about striving for the personal success important to you while understanding life can never be perfect.

Are you able to think through everything you have at this moment, good and bad, and still smile? What gives you pleasure, even though the pain?

Everything you work hard for should feel worth the stress and strain. When times are hard for me, I love drawing as an outlet. Opening up a sketchbook and trying my hand at a portrait or a funny animated character helps me smile again.

When you take stock in your achievements and where you still want to go, appreciating what you've already accomplished goes a long way. Gratitude is the key to joy, even if it's only because you understand how important life's basics are.

If you're healthy and able to go for what gets your excitement rising each morning, you have a lot to be thankful for—let that empower you.

“You’ll never see a happy ungrateful person.”

Zig Ziglar

3. You compare yourself to the wrong people.

We're all sold the idea, in America at least, that making it equals big paychecks, lots of sex, and a mansion the size of an art museum. You're not genuinely making it if you're missing these symbols of success.

Not valid for everyone, and it doesn't have to be what you desire either.

Why are you doing all of this? Is it a part of your life purpose, or because you saw someone else doing it and decided it would be cool?

Make specific, thoughtful choices. I decided a long time ago going after vast sums of money wasn't going to be my goal. Life taught me money makes things easier.

I had to understand it's OK to want to make a good salary to take care of basic needs and save for retirement; it took years to accept I enjoy travel and need enough for at least one adventure a year.

Maybe that's not necessary for everyone, but travel matters to me. Seeing the world helps me feel wealthy, and I love learning about other cultures and cities.

What do you need to benefit you, your family, and your overall mental health right now? Write down a list of your needs and wants. Getting serious about what matters to you as an individual, not what you think you "should" desire is a good goal.

Are you in a place mentally to work towards being a self-actualized human being? If you don't know where to go, you can't stay on the right road.

Once you have a list of what you truly want, you can find people who have done what you strive for and learn from their experiences. Read about them, or better yet, talk to them in person if you can.

You will reach your goals if you compare yourself to the right people. The people doing precisely what you aspire to do in your life.

“Don’t you find it odd,” she continued, “that when you’re a kid, everyone, all the world, encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you’re older, somehow they act offended if you even try.”
― Ethan Hawke, The Hottest State

Figure out a way to pursue your dreams

You have roadblocks to your goals. But if you get creative and find a way to go after your dreams, your life will feel loads more fulfilling and enjoyable.

No one said a good life would be easy.

Even doing what you love part-time, or dare I say, as a hobby, can create balance and instant smiles each morning you wake.

Take full responsibility for your life and do what it takes to do what you love. Yes, it may be more challenging if you're a person of color, or suffering an illness, but there are always ways to make things work.

• Take time to plan how to save enough money to give you the freedom to do more of your passions.

• Ask for help from people who can assist you on your journey or give you advice. Or, even better—mentoring.

• Work a job that doesn't take all of your brainpower, and do your passion during your off hours until you can do it full-time.

• Spend more time in groups with people who enjoy what you love. Life is less crappy when you spend it with others.

Permit yourself to love life by structuring it in a way that benefits your interests.

Keep your head in the right place. Not wanting too much all the time and giving thanks for what you have can change your outlook.

“I’ve been very blessed in my personal life and in my career and I have never been ungrateful for what I have.”

Mandy Patinkin

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Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

3 Mindset Shifts to Help You Hate Yourself

And motivate you to do better.

Illustrated by the author.

Being a success is overrated.

Why worry about making yourself better when the world is slowly spiraling down the toilet bowl?

Let's get real here, people.

Thinking positively does little to help your attitude anyway, and you just end up feeling like a fake. Facing reality and putting yourself down can work wonders. Take it from me, a generally positive person, at least that's what all my friends call me—I'm ready for a change.

These last few years, I survived a pandemic, watching good people die in droves even after being careful not to spend time in crowds but still end up catching covid. Wearing masks and washing hands only to still, that's right, see more people catch covid. Other self-proclaimed good folks believe they don't even need a vaccine, and it's all a hoax. They seem fine with themselves.

Meanwhile, I lose my job and have to learn to survive and find a new one while everyone else is fleeing theirs. Should I try to be happy? Make it all the better by telling myself positive mantras?

If someone can decide what life means to them and choose how to live it the way they want, even if it's ridiculous, I've opted that thinking positively is getting thrown out the window.

Here's a mindset shift that defies what self-help gurus preach, so we can start demotivating ourselves and get honest about our situations. It's time you gain power from negative self-criticism.

1. Recognize your negative cycle and give it a hug

Criticizing yourself and your appearance after waking up in the morning, looking at your sad reflection staring back, is the new motivation for success. Dominate your mind with negative talk about how you need to lose weight and exercise more.

I bet your hair looks awful. Isn't it time for a new hairdo?

Yeah, your job sucks. Who cares. What are you going to do about it? Nothing. I thought so.

Doesn't this feel good?

Destructive self-talk sculpts an image of yourself that's hard to break unless you recognize you're doing it in the first place. Embrace this downer version of you and let the Eeyore-like side shine.

What? Is all this negativity silly to you? After smelling all your garbage, you should want to clean it up.

2. See your negative self-image as a flame, and fan it

The more you fan a flame, the more it burns. It's time to grow yours into a roaring fire with negative self-talk. How bad can you make yourself feel?

Dare yourself to try. How many crappy details about your life and failures can you drum up? Life ain't always great, so stop pretending.

Give it all you got, and feel that fire rage inside. The worse you feel, the better.

You might get so enraged that you get completely sick and tired of being sick and tired. So what?

Why don't you do something about it? Oh, you're too lazy, huh?

If only you cared enough to think of times where you made the right choices and succeeded. Accept that some things in life work out, and others don't.

Feeling bad about yourself can help make you feel good.

3. Be unkind to yourself to motivate change

The other day I cursed at myself for making a wrong turn and having to re-route the directions to an appointment—one I was already late for anyway. I could have been kind and talked to my brain about how everything will be fine and work out well in the end.

But it didn't. Me being late made everything worse and upset people I care about. Maybe next time I have a meaningful engagement, I should leave super early because I suck at finding new places.

Making sure to step outside yourself and see the bad can help you know what to improve. You shouldn't hide behind positivity if you want to make real change.

You have to be unkind to yourself to know where to grow and get so upset you actually do something instead of just talking.

The end is not nigh

You have triggers that make you feel down on yourself or give up, and you might as well discover them so you know when you're spanking yourself. When we feel at our lowest, we are often about to make a breakthrough.

If you can tell when you're at rock bottom, you can be open for the moment of clarity that helps you see where to go next. Giving yourself a chance to notice what pulls you down can help you know how to climb back up. Or, better yet, how not to spiral down in the future.

Times are tough in the world right now, and we need to be tougher. You can't always fix everything by just thinking positively.

You've seen those old black and white photos of families from a hundred years ago. They weren't smiling, and they were surviving.

They didn't finish a day on the farm, working out in the hot sun, smiling, and telling themselves how happy they were. Looking in the mirror, telling themselves life can be easy and fun when life was hard. Our ancestors had very few options.

It's much easier now, but we act like it should be a breeze.

Life is still challenging, no matter how nicer our living conditions have become—facing negativity and letting it run all over you is how to understand what gets you down and leads to change.

Unless you suffer from chronic depression, you might want to see a doctor and get on medication if that's the case.

The rest of us can learn to live with our negativity and practice some grit.

Cheers to the new you.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

One of the Best Ways to Become a Better Writer

How a cartoonist’s quote helped me understand what writers truly need

Coming up with creative ideas for topics or stories to write about consistently can be challenging. Even when you get them, how can your writing feel authentic and full of life?

In an interview with cartoonist Jef Mallett of the syndicated “Frazz” comic strip, he gave simple yet powerful advice on writing for his same cast of characters week after week.

“Get a life and steal from it.” -Jef Mallett

In his opinion, only taking from other books or TV shows isn’t as powerful as swiping from your life. To do that, you need to live a little. There’s a richness to personal experiences readers can feel.

Leave your house, take risks, and then write about them.

What You Could Be Missing About Writing on Medium

It's more than making money

Writers keep saying Medium is dying. It's not like it used to be and will never return. If you can't make good money here, why stick around?

I've been on Medium off and on for five years now, and I wish I were more active here a few years ago. You know, when writers were bringing in the big bucks. About a year ago, I started posting regularly, and I've seen slight growth in my earnings but nothing over $100 yet.

My stats have plummeted, like a lot of writers here, and I can't seem to get the attention I had even six months ago.

I'm still staying on the platform and putting time into writing on Medium.

Here are a few reasons why.

You can write whatever you like

Writing on Medium is the perfect place to sharpen your skills. Think about it. You can choose to share, teach, and tell stories about anything.

I love that I can bring up a topic I'm interested in and give my take on it. And for the most part, people will read.

Sure, it's tempting to get excited about possibly making thousands of dollars on the platform, but we should focus on what's important—improving as writers and having fun at the same time.

Medium will keep making changes

Another day, another change on Medium. Get used to it and keep writing. We can get as upset or excited as we want, but the fact is, the platform is growing and needs to adjust.

Sometimes it will work in our favor, and sometimes it won't. We can't change the fact that Medium is a business and will frequently make decisions that seem cold.

Your articles don't have to become cold, though. When you have fun writing, readers will notice. They'll also appreciate your honest, positive words as they try to navigate not only Medium but this crazy world in which we live.

Flow with the changes and continue to rise above with writing that's creative and authentically you, and watch your work last for years—no matter where you write.

Your pay will fluctuate

Depending on Medium earnings to pay your bills is a tough road. If you can position yourself with multiple streams of income from other jobs or platforms, do it.

You can't predict if your articles will generate a ton of money each month or not. Looking at your stats every 30 minutes isn't going to make them go up. Consistently producing good work every week is the main road to improving and attracting attention.

Stats won't matter as much if you do not depend on Medium for money.

It's easier to deal with the lean times when you have many different areas where your pay comes from. Try using Convertkit to start an email list. I've had one for my comics for many years but just started adding articles and advice to my newsletters. It's fun, and new people are subscribing.

My goal is to build up loyal readers who feel they receive value from my work, and I can reach out to them when I have new books or courses ready to release. A.K.A., a built-in audience.

You can make more money from freelancing

I bet my blog writing skills would snowball if I went after freelance clients. When I did this in the past, it was enjoyable to work on different projects and learn about companies to write for them. Enjoyable but with very little freedom.

The fact that I can choose a topic that interests me on Medium—not based on what a client decides—and put my spin and style on it is magnificent. I can even add illustrations I created, like in this article.

If I want to make more money, I can go back to freelancing.

Or take on a few assignments on Upwork or through LinkedIn for several months and then stop. All the while, I'm writing on Medium to get better at honing my voice and writing style.

Most of all, I'm having fun.

In conclusion

Write on Medium for the experience and pure joy of sharing what you love. When you start craving more money, start freelancing for a while to help keep your passion for Medium alive.

Decide what you're writing for and base your daily writing habit around that idea. Right now, I'm all about getting better and finding my voice. There are several topics I love writing about, but I'm looking forward to discovering more.

Article writing is helping me get to know myself and my writing voice. I'm grateful to Medium for giving me that opportunity. And, I get to make a little extra money too.

Not a bad deal at all if you ask me.

Want more? If you're struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

7 Average Words to Help You Discover Above Average Ideas

Illustrated by Khalid Birdsong.

Are your ideas all dried up? Maybe you’re feeling like someone who can’t come up with anything exceptional anymore. Looking for new ways to express yourself and breakthrough a creative slump?

I’ve been there. More often than I’d like to admit.

As a teacher, writer, and cartoonist, I’m always in need of ideas, not only to start creating something new but to enhance what I’m already working on.

Let’s imagine we climbed the mountain of the creative block together. As we reach the top, standing majestically in front of us is a massive rock. On it are inscribed seven words. Words to get you out of your creative rut.

Reading each word given to us by the divine universe of ideas, I agree to interpret how to apply each one to your life. When you feel lost or blocked creatively, just think of one of these and then take action.

1. Challenge

The first word we see on the list is one of the most powerful. You must make sure what you’re working on has an element of challenge, or you won’t rise to meet it. If what you’re creating is too easy or in the middle of your comfort zone, up the stakes.

Perhaps you have a new skill to learn. Incorporate it into your process or a new way of doing something you’ve mastered. Taking a risk by learning a new style or way of creating can force you to think creatively in new ways.

This could be as simple as choosing a topic for an article on something you know very little about. You’ll need to research and find an interesting angle to take. Writing in the voice and tone of a novelist you admire could also push new ideas out of you.

If you’re very good at writing, try learning a new musical instrument and practicing it during your writing breaks. When you feel that uncertainty bubbling up inside, that means you’re on the right track.

2. Variety

Are you always reading the same genre of books? Watching the same TV shows? Add some variety to your life, and you’ll become inundated with fresh new ideas.

We become comfortable with our choices and could use something new and different to shake it up.

“Sameness is the mother of disgust, variety the cure.”

Petrarch

If remembering to consume something different is hard, try inputting a reminder to the calendar on your phone. Or, put a sticky note near your laptop that reads, “Watch a TV show you think you’ll hate.”

Read articles with opinions different than yours. Going in to understand why people enjoy or believe this could help your mind come up with ideas for characters or a new project to pursue.

3. Habit

When you make doing your creative work into a daily habit, creativity will walk in and join you.

How do you make something a habit? Write down a plan of what you would like to get done in a day and what order. Make sure to follow that plan for two straight weeks. Boom! You’ve got a habit.

If you plan to get up an hour earlier to create every morning, decide what time, set your alarm, and put it on the other side of the room. That way, you must get up out of bed to turn it off.

Your mind and body will expect the routine and look forward to making your newly established habit. When you sit down to create when you always do, your mind would have been formulating ideas in your off-hours, anticipating this regular creative release slot in your day.

4. Awe

Experience or observe something that fills you with awe.

Look at a beautiful painting. Watch a musician playing a solo on the instrument; they put their heart and soul into learning. Visit natural wonders like the Grand Canyon or something closer like your local park.

Appreciating the beauty of nature will help you see this world with open eyes and give your mind new ideas.

“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.”

Albert Einstein

5. Walks

Humans have been walking since the beginning of, well, humanity. Yes, because that’s how we get around. But also to help us think clearly. Even come up with new ideas we can’t wait to write or create.

Before going out for a walk, ask yourself a specific question or fill your head with content from many different sources. Then, let it all simmer together as you move your feet.

Inspiration will hit.

Make sure to bring a small notepad or your cell phone to jot down any ideas that pop into your head. You’d be amazed what a little fresh air, sunlight, and physical movement can do for your creative thinking.

6. Opposites

When you see this word carved on the majestic stone, it might perplex you. How can thinking of opposites help with creative ideas?

Moving in the opposite direction for an idea creates tension and can shake out good ideas. I learned this from writing humor for comic strips. If I were having trouble coming up with a funny gag, I’d think of the opposite way that situation could look.

For example, what if I have a character in my story who’s a husband that hates taking out the garbage. Maybe this time, he decides not to take it to the bin outside and hides the overstuffed garbage bag in the house somewhere.

It sounds pretty gross, but my imagination is starting to light up with scenarios where the husband is trying to convince his wife there’s no foul smell coming from the closet. It’s still a funky idea, but my mind wants to make it work.

Maybe he tried to hide the garbage last week, and his wife comments on it when he refuses to take it out this time. “Remember, honey; we don’t wear the garbage, so keep it out of our closet.”

When you need new ideas, try thinking of the opposites of something you know well or of a popular opinion, and see where it takes you.

7. Practice

The final word on the stone makes sense to you and seems so simple. Taking time to practice the fundamentals of your creative pursuit daily does wonders for improving your skill and idea generation. Start with an exercise that gets you in the mood for creativity.

I like sketching people I see while out and about, writing 10 ideas a day, journal writing, practicing playing scales on a piano. Freewriting.

Anything that doesn’t take a lot of thought but makes you feel something, giving your mind a chance to wander as well. Something cathartic, if you will.

Once your mind is active in one way, from practicing your art fundamentals, but still has space to search for new ideas, you’ll have an easier time getting inspired.

In conclusion

As we walk down the mountain, we’re full of inspiration from the straightforward yet powerful words carved on the stone.

We see the truth now. Creativity is not magic. You can help your mind mold and shape fresh new ideas through normal activities and just a little bit of open-minded thinking.

Now, accept this wisdom and go out and become the extraordinary creative person you were meant to be.

4 Magical Life Lessons From a Japanese Animated Kids Film

How this Hayao Miyazaki movie can help you pare down your expectations and have a more fulfilling life.

Moving to a new town, as a mere 13-year-old, to set up life as the local witch is Kiki’s goal in the charming animated film Kiki’s Delivery Service, directed by Hayao Miyazaki.

The only problem, she has very little money and only one magical power—flying on her broomstick.

How can she expect to make a successful life for herself, starting with so little? It’s easy at first. Do you know why?

She was open to meeting people and having new experiences. Not to mention living simply and using her unique gift to start a business.

I love animated movies by Studio Ghibli, but even after two years living in Japan, watching most of their animated films, I never viewed this one. It looked cute but didn’t pull me in like Princess Mononoke or Spirited Away.

My wife and daughter wanted to watch it for our “Family Movie Night,” and I tried not to groan. I slumped into my recliner, ready for the injection of sweetness into my veins.

To my surprise, it wasn’t as sweet as, say, Ponyo, but quite pleasant and full of adventure. In fact, the climactic final act was thrilling and expertly directed. I won’t give it away here, but if you’ve seen it, I bet you were on the edge of your seat.

Kiki’s life was one I admired. Not only because she had magical powers, believe it or not—but because she had confidence, freedom and wasn’t afraid to live a simple life while working towards her goals.

These four takeaways from Kiki’s Delivery Service could help you enjoy a more fulfilling life.

1. Live with only what you need

Kiki befriends the owner of a bakery and is offered a room out behind the store. It’s old, dusty and only has a rickety bed and one table. She takes it with gratitude, cleans it up, and recognizes all she needs is a place to sleep and eat.

When Kiki goes shopping with her black cat Jiji, she prepares him because they have very little money and will have to live on eating pancakes until she can earn more.

Pancakes, y’all.

I would have at least chosen salad. Either way, let’s appreciate that she has the confidence to know her situation will change in the future. There’s nothing wrong with living on very little when you start.

Is it just me, or is this idea losing favor in modern times? Are we turning away from meager beginnings with young people leaving college and just moving home with their parents?

Look, I know everyone expects to be poor when they’re in college, but what’s wrong with getting any job you can afterward and moving in with roommates? You learn a ton about life and what truly makes you happy.

We can take that into any season of life and look to remove the unnecessary.

From what I’ve seen from living over forty years of life, people keep acquiring more and building up taller mountains of stress.

Taking on the idea of living only with what you need applies to material possessions as well as your mental baggage. What beliefs about people and life can you discard from your thinking?

Do you need therapy to lighten your mental load? Have the courage to find a professional to talk with and let some of that go.

When I moved to Osaka, Japan, to teach English in Junior High Schools in my late twenties, I could only bring two suitcases with me even though I had a whole one-bedroom apartment full of stuff.

It was a pain to give away and sell all of that, but boy, did it help me feel lighter physically and emotionally. When I arrived in Osaka, in an old empty apartment, I felt like Kiki. Excited to be in a new place but scared of the unknown.

Fortunately, I had a job, but that was about it. Life was fresh, new, and very foreign.

I chose not to fill my apartment with furniture and kept it pretty bare-bones. It helped me think clearly and feel less stress from the culture shock of adjusting to a new country.

One thing you’ll notice is with all that space, you can think about the positives and negatives in your life. It might lead you down the road to depression.

If you end up down in the dumps emotionally, my next tip might help.

2. Use your unique talents to help others

Doing work that helps others is incredibly rewarding. What you do doesn't have to be complicated either. Take an honest look at yourself and find what makes you special or unique. You could also ask your friends or family members to tell you what they think you do well.

Pursue work that utilizes your talents and can add value to someone's life.

Kiki did this in the film. When she first moves to the little European town inspired by Visby, Sweden, she had no idea how to make money.

She was a witch but hadn’t learned spells or any other magic besides flying on her broom. Kind of like when you’re young and have only a small amount of life experience. She discovered that people could use help delivering packages around town.

So, she did just that. Of course, not without her challenges, or it wouldn’t be much of a story, but she found work.

Work that helped make life easier for others.

We all want to make money doing what we love but remember to make a difference. When you help others, it helps you feel better about yourself and lead to amazing life experiences.

If you stay open to them.

Being an art teacher for almost twenty years has been hugely rewarding. Is teaching a tough job at times? Heck, yeah! Being a part of helping young people grow and appreciate art is exciting. When I was in college studying art, I thought becoming a teacher would mean I failed as an artist.

I see now how it adds to my life with more than a paycheck and summers off. Making a difference with something I love.

3. Lower your expectations

I’m not saying working towards big dreams is wrong. Just stop putting so much into outcomes and results. The less you expect, the more you appreciate.

I’ve learned that a simple life is one to admire.

It’s true what Notorious B.I.G. said, “Mo’ money mo’ problems.”

Mainly because you have more responsibilities. Which is fine as long as you accept that fact. Living with more is a huge responsibility filled with difficult decisions and daily stress.

I noticed in the movie that Kiki continued living in her little room behind the bakery. She continued her delivery business and helped people in the city. Perhaps she could have afforded to move out and get her own apartment. Surely, it would have cost more and possibly pulled her away from close friends.

No need to move on to get more if you’re happy where you are.

Opening up to needing less can make space for more peace to pour into your life as long as you make a conscious decision not to expect too much. Finding your dream job will not solve all of your problems and suddenly make life perfect.

Even when you do all of this, you’re loving life and growing in your career; you may feel out of sorts and lose motivation all of a sudden.

4. Recharge your batteries

I guess you could call this a **SPOILERS** ahead moment, so skip this paragraph if you haven’t seen the film. Kiki’s magic vanishes, and she’s not able to fly on her broom to make deliveries. This sets her back and wrecks her confidence. It’s not until a friend shares with her that most people lose interest in their work or go through creative slumps.

If this is you, take a break. Rest. Give yourself space from whatever it is you’ve lost that fire for so you can breathe a bit and recharge. If it’s something important, you’ll find the spark to ignite the flame again.

Kiki certainly gets her magical mojo back, but I won’t tell you what gets her there.

Some ways to re-ignite your fire:

• Sleep more. I’m serious. Go to bed early for a few days in a row or sleep later on the weekends. Take naps. Sleep has been known to cure so many health issues.

• Put a pause on whatever you’re working on that’s draining you, and learn something new. Watch something you wouldn’t normally. Read a new book in a genre you hate. This will force you to think differently and stay open to new ideas.

• Meditate. You knew I would mention this one. Giving yourself quiet alone time to be mindful of your body and thoughts will help your mental wellness.

• Talk with family and friends about what you’re going through. They might have experienced something similar and could give you advice. Even if they haven’t, taking time to express how you’re feeling with someone you care about is a great release of any negativity you’ve been holding onto.

Final words

One of the hardest things for me to accept in life was that good things take time. Patience has always been a challenge for me. Not that I want everything now, but I wish it all would get here quicker.

It seemed to me that Kiki was fine with slowly building her life in one place. I love that. Yes, she’s just an animated cartoon character, but I envied her spirit. Maybe it’s because I’m a middle-aged man dreaming about the early days out in the world. Or, I needed the reminders the film brought forth.

There’s no shame in starting small, using your talents to work towards a successful career, and having patience with the process. Life can be less stressful and pretty darn magical when you know your needs and limit your wants.

One Concept a Teacher in Art School Gave Me That Changed My Life

And could help you reach your goals.

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Walking into the art studio with my finished clay project in hand, I knew it was the best work I’d done in a long time. With other classes and homework to complete that week, I didn’t put much time into this one. Still, I was sure its creativity and energy would impress my professor.

Compared with sculptures from other students in class that day, I could tell theirs looked technically better. Mine had all the vitality, though!

I might have finished it quickly, but it was eye-catching.

The professor was surely going to give me a high grade and plenty of praise. Maybe even talk about how good it is to the rest of the class.

Little did I know, I was about to learn a lesson that would stick with me for the rest of my life.

When the teacher entered and started walking around the class, checking in with each student, I was hoping she would get to me last. I wanted her to be amazed by my brilliance after looking at the others.

I could see her face as she spotted my sculpture, my powerful piece of a man in a running pose with a loose shirt moving in the wind. Her head cocked to the side as she slowly approached my table. After pausing for a brief moment, she said, “The pose is dynamic, with a nice solid structure, but make sure to put more time and effort into your craftsmanship.”

Hold on a second. What kind of praise was that?

She liked it but wanted me to spend more time on details and making it look finished; she continued telling me further to make it a better quality final product. She was basically calling it energetic rubbish.

The professor used this opportunity to turn to the class and discuss the importance of craftsmanship. Right in front of my art — clearly, the example of what not to do.

I learned the importance, that day, of putting more effort into the finished product and calming my ego.

I thought all of the energy in my work would speak for itself. I didn’t understand how evident a lack of good craftsmanship can be in what you create. Needless to say, I was embarrassed and humbled.

Craftsmanship.

This word is one I would hear many times over my art education. The importance of craftsmanship and how that separates the novice from the professional.

Paying attention to details and putting in the time to create a quality piece of art was drilled into me after that. Fortunately, I learned to organize my time and put in the work.

Other than art, I believe we can use this concept to help improve our lives.

How to craft a life you love

After twenty years of creative life both here and abroad, I’ve found living with intention instead of haphazardly here and there helps bring what you desire.

Here’s a simple way to look at crafting your life.

Craftsmanship for success

Anytime life kicks you in the rear, or you feel you’re not going in the right direction, remember to put these three points into action.

1. Taking time to plan out goals in detail by writing them down and reading them daily

Put down all the possible ways these goals could be achieved and think about what connects them. Like creating a piece of art, you’re building the sketch or rough draft of your final product, working out the kinks, and developing a vision. Reading them to yourself as if you already have them, in the present, is like magic for attracting your desires.

2. Taking calculated risks instead of running from them

There’s no way around it. You must take risks if you want to succeed. Keeping them thoughtful and careful should be a part of your detailed goals. Even if you’re afraid, you will need to step out into the unknown at some point.

3. Taking time sculpting the life you want by consistently doing the work

Moving forward with consistent action will help your skills grow and give you more chances for luck. It might take more time filled with regular, daily work than you think, but you will reach success if you’re putting in the time regularly to produce.

Even when you’ve reached your goal, you should continue forward. There is no finish line. The work, the skills you learn, and the positive influence you have on others are how you measure success. If I can learn to put more effort into crafting a beautiful piece of art and apply it to my life, you can take a similar approach.

A successful life is an art, so start sculpting yours today.

Want to Learn to Nap on a Train? Here’s how

Sometimes you need to sleep. I’m talking about amongst the people, on a train or bus, or even in the park. Life can be exhausting. Why can’t we do some of our recharging in public? 

Well, now you can, with this simple three-step method inspired by my years living in Japan. The word “inemuri” means being present while you sleep. It’s synonymous with sleeping on the job or in public places. The Japanese are so overworked that it’s become commonplace to see a large number of people sleeping just about anywhere.

Taking naps is said to be a good thing. Even though accepted in Japan, it’s not allowed at work—even though that rule is mostly ignored all the time. If you’re in a location where you can set an alarm to wake you, it’s relatively easy, but what if you’re on a train or the subway? Not waking up in time for your stop can be frightening. 

Listen in as our Japanese raccoon, Tanuki, from Fried Chicken and Sushi comics explores how to nap on the subway in three steps. 

1. Decide to give it a try with the intent to master inemuri with help from others.

2. Pick a friend or family member who you know would never let their guard down.

3. Ride on a train with a loudspeaker that penetrates your soul.

Great job! If you follow these Tanuki steps, you too will be sleeping on the train in no time. Just imagine the freedom you’ll have to get the rest you need anywhere you have to wait. 

Take these tips to the cafe, while waiting for your coffee, or to the DMV, waiting for your number to be called. There are so many uses, and you’ll feel well-rested and ready to tackle whatever life throws at you daily.

Now, get out there and nap.

Why I'm Drawing on Paper Again

Drawing Little Fried Chicken and Sushi comics on paper, during these crazy times, has been good for my soul. There’s so much magic in feeling the paper’s pull and having to be fully present with every line drawn in ink. Not to mention, I can take cool photos of my originals and share them with you.

Don’t worry. I’ll still make strips digitally as well. From here on out, I think the story will dictate whether or not I use Clip Studio Paint software or bristol board and Pigma Micron pens.

One Habit a Day- To feel like you again

Facing this pandemic while working through the anger, fear, and pain associated with the murders of black people in America, as a black male myself, is exhausting. There are times I want to be alone to process it all, and times I want to dive deeper into my work to escape.

There’s so much to do. Work responsibilities aren’t stopping, and focus must be given to them, whether we want to or not. I also know there’s so much that could be done to help the country right now.

Speaking out against systemic racism and police brutality through writing and art. Leaving the house, mask on, to protest with the masses. I want to be everywhere all the time.

It’s overwhelming. Sometimes, I can’t even remember who I am anymore.

If you’re feeling like me, I think it’s an excellent time to let some expectations go and to simplify your days. You cannot accomplish what you could back before the world drove off a cliff.

Complete one habit in the morning for a quick win

Definition of habit

1 : a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior.

- Her habit of taking a morning walk

Will you wake up early to write for an hour? Make that your one habit of conquering in the mornings to ignite your fire. Perhaps, you enjoy going for a run because exercise helps to clear your mind. Schedule the time when you will get up and put everything in place to make sure you do it.

Write your morning plan the night before and leave it out where you can see it when you wake up. Take out your running gear so you can put it on right away and take off.

Picking one habit that you know you can complete in the morning will give you the confidence to face these challenges. The challenges we’re all emotionally wading through each day. Give yourself as much space as you can each day to just be with it all.

An excerpt from the book by Nicolas Cole and Dr. Matthew Jones, “Slow Down, Wake Up,” states:

“You’re not supposed to function every single second of every single day at 100%. Anyone who tells you otherwise, including yourself, needs greater self-compassion.”

One is enough

If your one morning habit was all you could bring yourself to complete today, let that be okay.

Pick one thing to accomplish professionally and personally each day, then celebrate it.

For the days when you’re feeling down, let completing that one habit fill you with pride. It shows you can accomplish something important to you. You might find that it gives you the energy to work on another one of your things.

The point is to keep your expectations low right now in these difficult times. Do only what you can but plan to do at least one crucial daily habit to move your life or career forward.

One thing a day, can become a habit, help you process heavy emotions, and lead to more professional wins in the future.

Why my Biracial Daughter Wears Straight-Hair Wigs - Should I stop her?

Illustrated by Khalid Birdsong on friedchickenandsushi.com

Reading this comic strip, you would think my daughter is confident and comfortable with exactly who she is at all times. Well, you'd be mistaken. Alana (the name I use for her in the comics) is a nine-year-old girl who epitomizes authenticity in every area but her hair.

Gliding into the living room, almost daily, holding her karaoke microphone. Wearing the pink and purple wig her grandparents gave her for Christmas, is nine-year-old Alana. My half Japanese, half African-American daughter. 

On the one hand, I know she likes wearing the wig because it's straight and she thinks it looks better than her beautiful curly hair. On the other hand, I feel like she should take the wig off and feel good singing with her natural look.

Should I force her to take the wig off and be herself? 

Of course, not. I think I should relax and let Alana pretend to be someone else for a little while. It's the only way, at this age, she will experience her dream of having long straight hair. Besides, It's fun.

The reality can be challenging to accept at times, though.

She'd rather have a straight look than her naturally curly mixed-ish hair. 

I understand that most people are not in love with their hair and wish it could be different, but Alana really gets upset with what she's got. And I think I know why.

Alana is the only girl on both sides of our families with mixed hair. 

In fact, she's the only one who's biracial. My side is all African-American, and my wife's family are all Japanese. 

When Alana spends time with either side, it's clear that she doesn't look just like them. Of course, I know she's unique and beautiful but, I am her father. The fact that Alana doesn't see her self represented in our family may be making it difficult to feel connected. Now that she's growing older, she's noticing more and articulating her frustrations.

My wife and I want her to be proud of being a part of two races and cultures but know we can't fully understand how she feels. 

I will say, though, living as people of color in the United States gives us perspectives on what it's like to be treated differently. Still, we both can return to our upbringing as a way to ground ourselves.

I'm proud of being black and can share any trials and tribulations of black life with my family. My wife was born and raised in Japan. She can return to her country and take in everything she loves and fit right into the culture.

No matter where we go, Alana stands out. 

Some of this desire for straight hair comes from watching movies and TV shows, of course. She sees so many white girls, and even Japanese girls—when we're watching TV Japan—with hair Alana feels is "beautiful and easy to comb."

What can we do? 

I'm grateful for the short film "Hair Love," directed by Matthew A. Cherry about an African-American girl and her father learning to do her hair. There were so many moments watching it where Alana shouted, "That's like when you do my hair, Daddy!"

Another great example is the "Black-ish" TV show spinoff "Mixed-ish." Where Tracee Ellis Ross tells the story of her character, Rainbow, as a child growing up as a biracial child in the 1980s. The show is funny, heartfelt, and honest about how confusing it can be at times living in the middle of two families of different races, with a desire to love and honor both equally. 

These beautiful examples of representation help to foster conversations. 

Without them, I don't think we could discuss being mixed race as smoothly. Alana sees herself as unique and has a better understanding of her place in the world because of these creative artists.

I hope by sharing this story in writing, and comic strip format inspires those who need to see themselves represented. 

Representation is grand, but it doesn't solve all our challenges.  

Alana still doesn't like getting her hair combed.

We're working on that.

Baby Yoda? I want the toy!

The Star Wars fandom running through my veins could not resist the force, calling me to make this comic about The Mandalorian show and everyone's favorite child.

It looks like Disney missed the boat on this merchandising opportunity. I couldn't find any baby Yoda toys for sale for this holiday season! You can pre-order one from the Disney store online that will be released in February—the toy design I saw was not all that cute—but I bet billions of people are throwing their money down anyway. Not me. I'll wait for the updated, more adorable version. 

Would you buy a baby Yoda toy?

Have an out of this world week. And may the force be with you!

Read every comic here on www.friedchickenandsushi.com 

Calvin and Hobbes Creator Reveals His Method for Creativity

This illustration by Calvin and Hobbes cartoonist, Bill Watterson, reveals the top secret method for coming up with ideas for comic strips.  

Putting your butt in the chair and staring blankly into space until inspiration hits you.

Ok. Maybe it’s not that simple but it feels like it sometimes. The true key to consistent creativity is a daily routine you schedule into your life and stick to, no matter what.

Coming up with ideas for what to write or draw is still a challenge. When I’m sitting at my drafting table, mechanical pencil in hand, upset that inspiration isn’t striking yet, here’s what I like to do.

Pull it back. I will probably have one of my Fried Chicken and Sushi characters in mind that I want to create a comic strip about but no idea what to do with them. Even if I’m lucky and have a theme in mind, there’s one element that is of the utmost importance.

The feeling. The feels. Whatever you want to call them, your first question before even coming up with the joke should be-

What are you trying to get your readers to feel?

If you pull this into your creation process, you can move on to ‘the what’ and ‘the gag.’

After all, you know your work will have characters and something exciting or humorous happening, but will anyone feel anything? Will your readers care?

I’m still working on getting better at this myself. There’s so much more I need to learn so that I can improve as a writer and cartoonist.  Hopefully, to one day, get close to the genius of Bill Watterson’s Calvin and Hobbes.

But I believe that adding emotion to your work is key to quality.

Think about it. Plenty of content out there you can watch and read might be fun but can leave you feeling empty. After consuming any content, ask yourself-

Did you discover anything new about life or the world? Perhaps what you read mirrors your life in some way and helps validate your choices or represents who you are?  Maybe, it just made you feel good about being human.

If it made an impact, even in a small way, then it matters. Are you making people feel happy about their choices or sad? Are you looking to get them riled up about a topic and take action to make a change? Are you trying to take the blinders off and get them to think deeper about an issue in a new way?

A lot of questions, I know. But this is how I work through an idea to determine if it will resonate with an audience.

When I’m really having a hard time coming up with an idea for a funny gag, I take the feeling I want my readers to have about my comics and craft a plan around it. This question always haunts me-

Can I get people to care about my characters?

Here’s an example-

For the FC&S storyline where Tanuki, our magical raccoon character, wears a suit and sneaks into an office in Japan to see how it feels to work as a salaryman, I was looking to create a positive sense of fun with a touch of reality.

After several strips on this theme, I wanted readers to feel sorry for him in the final strip that ends the arc. That feeling led me to think about how that could happen in this situation.  

Tanuki can get a little cocky at times and even though we love him, reality should set in at some point. He’s a wild animal in an office. Why would people want that wild animal to leave?

Here’s the final comic strip-

Did you feel sorry for Tanuki? Maybe you think he deserves to be kicked out. Either way, you’re feeling and thinking about the characters in the comic.

Hopefully, your overall feeling for FC&S is still positive and you care about Tanuki. That’s my goal. Fried Chicken and Sushi should make you smile and leave you feeling good. Not just from the laughter, but from what the characters try, and often fail, to do in their lives.   

I’m not on the level of Bill Watterson as a cartoonist. I do believe that he understands the concept of making something people care about and feel. You get that from each and every one of his comic strips. Even if he had to stare blankly at a wall sometimes for ideas.

Before I go, there’s one more question you might have.

What if a reader hates my work that day and “feels” like it was terrible? Well then, they will make sure to read the next strip or article you post to see if you give them the feeling they want. Over time, the reader might decide to stop following your work.

Publishing your art for the world and making people think and feel on a regular basis is hard. You should be prepared for critics, haters, and if you’re lucky, hardcore fans.

Let people decide what they like.

You, my creative friend, make them feel.

(True Story) Why I Quit FC&S Comics, Then Came Back

It’s been one year since Little Fried Chicken and Sushi returned to regular updates after a year hiatus.  Here are some of my thoughts on why I stopped and started again, and ideas for how you can move forward with new creative projects when you lose passion for your work.

Letting go can lead you to what you need

I’ll never forget, feeling so burned out two years ago from work and life that even drawing comics didn’t make me smile.  In my mind at the time, ending Little Fried Chicken and Sushi comics was the only way to rest and heal.

And why keep it going? No new readers were discovering the strip.  I had a decent amount of support on Patreon -even though it didn’t feel like enough to me.  So, I ended Fried Chicken and Sushi completely. Finally! I would have time to rest and take things slower.

Not true. I started drawing for fun in my sketchbook more, and sharing those sketches on Instagram regularly, eventually feeling the drive to grow as an illustrator.  

But that didn’t make me happy.  Single images are fun, but I always yearn for more of a story -a sequence of events and the visual pacing only possible within panels.  

Even though making comic strips two to three times a week is difficult, I had to face the truth.  Making comics, made me happy. I needed it in my life.

So, I started brainstorming possible concepts and characters to develop a new comic.

I got close with a strip idea entitled “The Honeybuns.”  The strip was named after a rabbit family of four, and the humor primarily revolved around their life living in Silicon Valley.  My goal was to parody the stressful and ridiculously hectic lifestyle of bay area families, but instead of humans, using busy bunnies. Here are some of the sample strips from my submission packet.

What do you think?  Should I have stuck with this concept? Are you happy I moved on? This is a small sample of my submission.  If you would like to see more let me know in the comments.

Work on a project only you can create

No syndicates were interested.  Not even GoComics, the one that syndicates FC&S online.  I received some helpful feedback but ultimately had a choice to make.  Either keep working on improving “The Honeybuns,” a more mainstream strip idea or start Little Fried Chicken and Sushi up again.

Sometimes, you just have to face the hard truth.  Working on developing a new project would take a tremendous amount of time and energy I didn’t have

I knew the world and characters of Little FC&S best, so it would be easier to just start again.  That way, I could get better with something familiar and have an easier time creating new strip ideas.

The big question for me was -why restart a comic strip that wasn’t that popular in the first place?

One answer was pretty obvious. The election of Donald Trump as president. What felt like a rise in Americans sharing their outright racist opinions in public, online, and through committing hate crimes, helped to light my motivational fire to continue drawing a positive black family in comic strip form.

I noticed there were few humor strips with people of color, let alone with both African-Americans and Japanese main characters combined. Fried Chicken and Sushi could be the voice of a new comics generation.

Or, at least, one voice from the minority perspective. A voice with the opportunity to speak to a broader audience about living overseas and being open to other cultures through the GoComics platform, where only a handful of comics with people of color are syndicated.

The other factor is authenticity.  Only I could write and draw FC&S. Gag ideas come from my experiences as a black man who lived in and visits Japan. My unique worldview in writing would set it apart combined with my individual art style.

If it comes down to it, pick a project with a subject matter you know well or have a passion for and present it in a way that brings joy.     

Work on a new project while producing your current one

Perhaps, creating new project ideas feels easier while you are writing and drawing an already established project because you’re working out your “idea muscle” every day.  Taking a long break might just slow the process down and weaken your creativity.

There are benefits to keeping that creative fire burning!

Does this mean I have a new and better comic strip idea brewing in my head?  Honestly, no, not yet. It’s fun to work on improving my gag writing and character development skills through producing Fried Chicken and Sushi comics consistently every week.

I hope you’re enjoying reading them and I look forward to your feedback.  

Arigato Gozaimasu,

Khalid

Get Fried Chicken and Sushi comics emailed to you HERE

Become a patron of the arts!  Support FC&S comics on Patreon.com/birdsong

Read, comment, and share FC&S comics on GoComics.com

Learning Japanese with comics -SUMIMASEN!

Sumimasen -the word that works for everything. I'm sure there are uses I left out, and will most likely put in future strips. Sumimasen is one of my favorite Japanese words, and I marvel at how effortlessly people use it in various situations.

I forgot that creating a comic about living in another country gives plenty of opportunities to teach language and how it relates to the culture. As I grow as a cartoonist, I hope these examples of "international cartooning" improve over time.

The Urban Dictionary defines sumimasen as:

Japanese word meaning, "I am sorry".
Sometimes used together with doumo. "Doumo sumimasen" also means I'm sorry.

Often in conversation "doumo sumimasen" or "sumimasen" are used in place of "Thank you". Perhaps Japanese feeling is, I'm sorry bothering you, but thank you very much to be so considerate.

1. Sumimasen I broke your dish.
2. When a gentle person gives away a seat on a crowded train to an aged person, the person who received the favor may say, "sumimasen" or "doumo sumimasen".

Thanks for your support and don't forget to like and share the comic with the world!

Khalid

How To Get Specific and Bring Your Work ALIVE!

Let’s just say you want your art, writing or comics to feel more genuine and appealing to your audience. 

I’m finding that making sure to add in specific aspects of the culture or area where the characters are living but adding problems we all recognize, makes your work feel ultra-specific but relatable at the same time. 

For this Little Fried Chicken and Sushi comic, I needed to show Tanuki using his magic and the theme for the week’s strips was Origami paper folding.  That in and of itself pertains to Japanese culture, but I wanted to see if I could add more.

I jumped over to Google and looked up the most popular things to make with Origami.  Cranes, shuriken, boats and paper cranes came up. A boat! They could be riding on a large origami boat that Tanuki made.  But where?

It could be going down the river in their town of Shimamoto but the background is rural so would not look like any recognizable place in Japan. 

Choosing the Yodo river that runs through Osaka city would give more choices of buildings and bridges to draw that readers who have been to the city would know.

Drawing the Umeda Sky Building behind them was a fun addition.  The curving white bridge to the left of them- I have no idea what it’s named- is a well-known sight in Osaka as well. 

Coming up with the joke is the challenge.  I asked myself, “What’s the problem in this situation?” 

That was an easy answer for this strip.  The boat is made out of paper!

Perhaps, Tanuki’s magic is surrounding the paper boat and allowing them to stay afloat but the fact is the situation is odd.  Come to think of it, so is a ‘paper’ boat!

You know, if this were real life, someone would have pointed that out.  J is usually the character who thinks about important issues or solves problems creatively.  So, it felt natural that he should be the one delivering the punchline.

When you’re writing or drawing, keep asking yourself how you can make it specific and general at the same time. 

Give people something they know and something new they’ve never experienced before.  Make them curious and then surprise them!