Two Words That Make Success Easier

This is what it takes to get where you want to be.

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

Don’t be fooled by quick and easy success stories. Making it big takes a lot of hard work.

It’s even more hard work than you think because success involves getting out of your own way.

I know you want to believe you can stay the same, and luck will bless you and suddenly change your life for the better, but this is juvenile thinking. Growing up and realizing that you have to put in time and effort to succeed is significant.

Success takes two essential ingredients most people run away from like the plague—even if they know working hard is a primary key.

I’ve lived a pretty good life, worked as a writer, artist, and teacher, and even traveled the world. Without two truths, I could have never done all that I did and plan to continue doing in the future.

If you can get navigate pushing through these two words, success can be more effortless for you to attain.

1. Failure

As a writer and cartoonist, naturally, I’m a fan of animated films, especially ones made by Disney. You may feel like everything the company does has always been a success.

So not true.

The Walt Disney Company has had successes and failures over its almost 100-year history. Slow times and fast. But it kept figuring out ways to keep going because they understood disappointment is a part of taking risks and doing business. Walt ingrained this idea into the studio.

Before Walt Disney started the company with his brother Roy, an editor at a newspaper he worked for told him he lacked imagination and had no good ideas. I bet that pissed him off a bit but gave him the fuel needed to prove him wrong.

“I think it’s important to have a good hard failure when you’re young… Because it makes you kind of aware of what can happen to you. Because of it I’ve never had any fear in my whole life when we’ve been near collapse and all of that. I’ve never been afraid.”

-Walt Disney

You have to be willing to try and fail. Yes, you may look like an idiot or embarrass yourself, but what you’ll learn will help you make new and different choices next time.

If you look at failure as a part of the learning process, something you need to get better and discover what works, you can use it.

People who never fail never really try.

You don’t have to like it, but make friends with it so you can reach your goals.

2. Discomfort

No one knows how to face discomfort like stand-up comedians. I may love writing humor in a comic strip format and have to face the possibility my readers won’t laugh at the joke, but I don’t have to meet them in person.

One of my favorite comedians is Jerry Seinfeld. Not just because he was able to get a hugely successful TV show with his name on it, but because he has a unique style and delivery, and most importantly, he never uses curse words.

That’s tough to do.

After his first set doing stand-up as a young comedian on the circuit, I read that it didn’t go well. Seeing the audience made him freeze when he set foot on stage, and he was booed off.

Think about it. Seinfeld could have said “Screw this!” packed his bags, and left that world forever.

Instead, he decided to get over himself and make success as a comedian more important than his discomfort on stage. I bet he could tell it was something he could get over if he practiced more. If writing jokes gets easier the more you do it, so can dealing with standing up on stage.

Of course, we all know how that turned out. Jerry Seinfeld was right to keep working through the discomfort.

Truthfully, it’s still uncomfortable for me to put my work out there, but I’ve learned to get used to that awkward feeling. You have to know that not being comfortable means you’re growing. The skills you’re learning, or the way you’re thinking about something new are being stretched.

Even though that’s a good thing, it’s only up to you to decide to keep facing discomfort head-on.

Make a point to try new things to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Talk to random people on the street and ask them questions about their life, volunteer to present new ideas during meetings at work, put your writing out online wherever you can, and brace yourself for criticism.

Doing what you fear will build up your tolerance for it and make it easier over time.

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

- Jerry Seinfeld

Getting good is the real secret

The main reason to grow more decisive in dealing with failure and discomfort is to get better at doing your craft. People want to read, watch, and hear good quality work, and if you make stuff and make it well, they’ll notice.

It’s incredible how easy it can be to give up because we can’t handle things not going the way we think they should. You will win when you give yourself the space to fail and feel like crap, but get back up and keep making—even if your success takes years.

If there’s one thing we can’t deny, it’s high-quality work. Good writing, beautiful music, and clever ideas get noticed, even if we’re unsure why it’s so great.

A combination of daily work, to get better, then facing your fears to put it out there can make a difference. When one of my articles gets a lot of attention or a comic strip receives many positive comments, I know I connected with people.

Even if that doesn’t happen for every piece, I put out, I know continuing to produce, learn, and iterate will help give me more chances at success.

It’s never just luck, even though luck can help. Working through setbacks and challenges will get you where you want to be in the long run.

Your success in life is proportional to how much risk and discomfort you can handle. Now get out there and fail more.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

3 Reasons to Stop Caring About Making Money From Writing

Share your work for free as often as you can.

Illustration by the author.

Writing only for money is a waste of time.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to earn dollars for your articles or sell millions of copies of your book—it shouldn’t be your main goal, though.

As a writer, teacher, and cartoonist, I’ve spent the past twenty years making money from what I love and also putting a ton of creative work out for free. The free stuff I shared was more fun and fulfilling than when I was paid mainly because I could do what I wanted and didn’t have to worry about pleasing anyone.

Rarely was I able to mix making money with something I had a passion for, like my comic strip Little Fried Chicken and Sushi. The strip started as a free webcomic about my experiences living in Japan, and I posted it online for four years, then it got syndicated online by Andrews McMeel Publishing.

Creating the comic was a labor of love, and I enjoyed the freedom to write my story and characters however I wanted. The delightful combination of writing and drawing together, which every cartoonist loves, stayed for many years, even with a wider audience reading.

I learned what it takes to consistently create content every week for years. One thing always rang true—you can’t only care about making money. Here are several ways to focus less on your bank account and more on the pleasure of writing.

1. Write because it’s fun

You get more out of it when you write for the joy of writing. Even if you’re someone in dire straits, who must get paid asap, get a job, any job to help pay your bills, to keep that joy alive while writing on the side. Don’t worry, your creativity will keep on popping.

Art is about creating for the sake of just that, creation.

We live in a time where you have the ability and means to create because it’s fun. There are still plenty of places on this planet where people are struggling in their living conditions or are in the middle of surviving a war.

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you have the opportunity to make stuff where and when you want. People in your family tree are smiling at all they worked hard to accomplish so you can have the freedom to write.

Work a job, write on the side until something connects with readers, and you can eventually leave it if you choose.

You’re not alone as someone who wants a successful career as a writer. It’s not uncommon for literary agents to receive anywhere from five thousand to twenty thousand query letters from authors seeking representation for their book manuscripts each year. Only a handful make it to a release through a major publishing house.

I’m not saying this to bring you down, just to throw a dose of reality onto your fire.

Whether you’re a successful writer or not, you will continue writing. I’ve had ups and downs, and still, I draw and write every day. Writing articles like this one feels good, and I also enjoy laughing when I finally come up with a funny gag for a comic strip.

I have a relationship, or marriage, with my creative interests that will last no matter how well I’m doing financially. I’ve been broke making my art and also know what it’s like to get a salary from making my art.

Both situations required I work continuously on improving my skills by doing the work. You’ve got to find the fun in creating daily to keep going even when times are tough.

2. Write to help others

Writing for yourself is fine, and if you’re working on a novel, it can be pretty rewarding. Creating stories that inspire others or articles to help people learn and grow in their lives can bring more fun to your writing practice.

Putting your work out into the world for free as often as possible will help you get noticed. When you inspire others, bringing value to people, even one person, you will reap the benefits.

Sometimes, it’s just one thank you email response or comment on your article from someone you helped. You’re instantly connected and feel a sense of true purpose. So, it’s not always money that motivates. Glowing with the knowledge, you helped another person—or thousands—get what they want out of life or feel more a part of theirs is transformational.

Not everyone can buy your books or pay to read what you’ve written online. Thanks to the internet, giving it away for free online makes it accessible to all and can reach more people who need your words.

You’ll be surprised at how much helping others helps you.

3. Write to heal yourself

I hear creatives whining about how difficult it is to write. If it’s so hard, why write at all? You could be watching TV or playing video games.

Could it be writing helps you feel better? It helps you process events in your life and understand your place in it? Maybe that’s a good reason to push through the pain of a problematic article draft or the frustration of a paragraph not coming together how you hoped.

Writing puts the pieces together in your mind and can mend your heart.

Does this sound like something that needs money to be worthwhile? You, putting your whole self into what you create makes it special.

Creating is never a waste of time, no matter how disappointed you may become with your results. You may think burnout or giving up on writing happens when you work too much. Actually, investing emotionally and then not getting a return on your investment is the problem.

When you can accept your mental healing as a valuable return, your fulfillment for helping others, and enjoyment with the process of writing as payment for your time, you’ll feel more satisfied.

Did you notice I didn’t highlight much about how writing all the time helps your skills grow? I’m sure you already know. Actually, it could be a whole article of its own. If you want to get better at something, do it every day. One more key to add is to do it with the intention of getting better.

And you will.

If something you wrote takes off, garners millions of readers, and makes you boatloads of money, magnificent. The rewards will taste sweeter because you know you did it for love, not money.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can learn to share your art with the world.

Watching People Litter in London Inspired This Easy Happiness Hack

Getting rid of the garbage in your mind without hesitation makes a huge difference.

Did he just dump his entire lunch onto the street?

I recently visited London for the first time and fell in love with the city and its people. There’s a charm that grabbed me, and history, with a bit of clotted cream on the side, keeping it on my mind. If you haven’t been, you should go. Escaping America again soon to experience more British culture is most definitely in the cards.

The only part of the trip that surprised me was how many people littered. Not just gum wrappers or small store receipts, but all the garbage in their pockets and more lying about on the streets.

I watched a man stop at a red light, open his car door, and throw all of his fast-food trash—his paper bag of food and cup of soda—out onto the street, then keep driving when the light turned green—no concern about the environment. No worries.

Garbage cans were hard to come by, but I wondered why people couldn’t keep their trash with them until they found one. Or, wait until they got home?

Big cities require you to walk and take public transportation, so you might not feel like trekking around all day with your garbage, so you drop it to lighten your load.

Getting rid of actual trash any time, anywhere, is a terrible thing to do. As a lover of metaphors, this made me think of the emotional baggage—or junk—we continually carry around and never get rid of in our lives.

What if we treated our trauma and emotional issues like the trash we must dump immediately? Not onto random strangers or everyone we know, but making a point to feel and process our emotions, then talk to good friends and therapists to help us unload our crap.

I like to call it “Positive littering for the mind," a more immediate way to get back to happiness.

To do it, though, you have to take an honest look at what you’re carrying.

The author in London by the Thames river and parliament.

Recognize your garbage

Sightseeing in London was jolly good fun. We stayed in an Airbnb apartment close to parliament and could walk over to the river Thames within ten minutes to view Big Ben and the London Eye Ferris wheel.

One of my favorite experiences was watching the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace. They even had a marching band playing familiar songs like Phantom of the Opera and the Spiderman theme.

Taking in all the sites and over one thousand years of history hits you with awe for the beauty and culture, respect for what they’ve built, and anger at the atrocities of colonialism.

You have to face plenty of mixed emotions and serious issues when you make a point to look at what’s in front of you.

That’s why most people push their feelings down deep and ignore them. They won’t go away if you turn your back or stuff them somewhere in your heart. Yes, negative emotions like fear, shame, and disappointment are uncomfortable, but you have to feel them if you want them to dissipate.

Name these dark and deep emotions. Call them out. Or, at least think about why you’re feeling this way and what led to them. Knowing what you’re carrying can help you release later.

When I visit my inlaws in Japan, there are very few garbage cans when we’re out and about. People there tend to hold on to their trash, keeping it in their bags, purses, or pockets while walking. Therefore, I do the same.

You’re very aware you’re carrying your garbage, which can be pretty annoying.

It’s so satisfying when you get to a garbage can at the subway station or home and can dump it all out. After carrying it for a while, you’re very aware of all you have and enjoy watching it go where it belongs.

Throw your garbage out as soon as possible

I saw people in London littering, but I didn’t see a lot of litter on the ground. Apparently, it’s a big problem there, but they must have plenty of city workers hired to clean it all up regularly. I expected to see more garbage than I did.

It would be best to take them out once you see your issues and accept them—name them as garbage.

This is where “Positive littering for the mind” comes in, and you can do it all in your head. It may feel like a stretch for some of you but stick with me here.

Visualize yourself taking that issue or problem and throwing it in the garbage. Ball it up into a big wad of wrinkled papers in your mind and feel those uncomfortable emotions. They won’t feel good but don’t hide from them.

See yourself letting it go into a huge can. You can even use hand motions to throw it into the trash with force. The relief once your garbage hits bottom will be all the sweeter. You faced your trash and threw it out.

You cleaned out your mess.

Does this solve all your emotional problems? No. And I’m no licensed therapist or psychiatrist, but I am a middle school teacher and creative guy who’s been through a lot of crap. This method works for me and helps strengthen my tolerance for facing challenging emotions.

If you don’t have time at the moment to do this, take time to meditate in the morning or before bed, and visualize taking out your mental trash.

Keep moving forward in life with honesty and help

I know severe trauma and painful parts of childhood are not easy to ball up and throw in the trash with your imagination. This method works on milder emotions or immediate feelings best. Making sure to see a therapist and work on talking through your serious issues that may be causing the smaller ones to feel more extreme is essential.

Of course, talk therapy is scary too. Getting to a place where you can face what’s holding you back or causing negative emotions is a step towards healing and getting help for more profound issues.

You don’t want to litter your emotional baggage all over everyone, but you should have a goal to get to a place where you can openly express your feelings and talk to people who can help you heal. If not, moving forward in life will be a significant challenge.

The next trip to London will be a welcome adventure and one I’m more prepared to face now that I’ve visited once before. I know how to get around and better understand how the city is laid out.

Just like facing your emotional baggage, you get more confident with experience. I highly recommend world travel, especially to the U.K., but you don’t have to go overseas to start healing your mind and heart.

You can do that right now, with a bit of self-awareness and quiet time.

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or psychiatrist. Please use my advice at your discretion and see a professional if you’re suffering from severe depression.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

3 Reasons I’m Enjoying Drawing Again

How color and variety can pull you back into your sketchbook.

All illustrations by the author.

Do you have fun practicing the art you love consistently?

Scheduling time daily to sit down and write, draw, or even paint helps you turn it into a regular habit. Doing what you love whenever you feel like it doesn’t.

Even though I know to make it into a routine first, so my mind and body expect to create every day, I don’t always follow that advice. I’m fully aware if your goal is to improve at playing the piano, you know regular blocks of time tickling the ivory is how to grow as a musician.

If you’re trying to draw more, let this article be the reminder you need to get back on the horse.

How can you get excited about getting started, though? If you’re an artist, growing your drawing skills takes work. You know, focusing on the fundamentals, like figure drawing, anatomy, and portraiture, is essential, but maybe not all that fun.

I hear you. As a cartoonist myself, drawing funny faces and cute characters was what I was all about.

Who has time for drawing a bunch of realistic faces?

I had to accept; I most certainly should make time for it if I wanted my art to grow. The dream of filling up sketchbooks with beautiful examples of my artistic explorations has always been a dream, one I never thought I’d reach.

Taking an online class for portrait drawing via Domestika helped jolt me into committing to growing through sketchbook drawing, and I’d like to share some of what I learned with you.

1. Hardback sketchbooks help you feel like an artist

You can choose all kinds of sketchbooks—large-sized ones, small enough to fit in your pocket. The ring-bound ones drive me nuts because rings on the side get in the way of my hand while drawing. Even turning the book to the side doesn’t feel right.

Everything got better when I discovered hardback, book-like sketchbooks. You can open them and lay them flat to draw across two pages or focus on one. I always feel more like a true artist when I pick it up because it looks like an actual book.

Staying on top of contributing drawings to your sketchbook is easier if you set a straightforward goal. Commit to filling every page.

Only show others what you choose or want to share, just because you feel it worked. You don’t have to take photos of your drawings or even show your work to anyone. Try and fail privately, then move to the next page.

Hardback sketchbooks are easier to collect and put on a bookshelf when you’ve completed them. They look handsome. Write a title on the spine with the year and date for your collection if you want. You can look back to see how you’ve grown over the years.

I like how you feel accomplished with a hard sketchbook instead of a soft or ringed one. You get the feeling you’re making something that will last. It’s sturdy and heavy. Like your dedication to art, it’s not easily bent or manipulated.

2. Variety spices up your pages and sparks joy

Picking a few areas to focus on improving, like facial expressions or body poses, can help you know how to begin. Saying you will fill one page up with different people you find from photos on Pinterest will help keep you motivated.

The next page in your book may revolve around drawing ten different hands or making a point to get away from humans and go outside to draw a landscape or urban setting.

It can be fun to get back to basics, then throw it all together. Maybe you decide to combine a mix of everything you’re studying on one page to see how you can compose it all within a small space.

Look honestly at your art. One thing I had to accept is drawing portraits from photos, especially of women, is difficult for me. I need to improve and overcome my fear of drawing attractive women, especially. I can make cute cartoony women just fine, but not beautiful realistic-looking women. Could I do it by using photo references?

Challenge accepted!

Having a hill to get over or a goal to strive for in your sketchbook will help motivate you just enough to start drawing and want to draw more. The joy of seeing what you’ve completed on each page will keep you excited about moving forward.

3. Adding color brings your pages to life

Why only use pencils and the occasional black pen? Drawing with colored pencils gives life to the page and catches the eye. Painting in the sketchbook with mini watercolors also helps add energy and interest.

You can use a gray brush pen for shadows and Gelly Roll pens for white highlights where needed. When I thumb through my sketchbook, I smile at the color variety and pay more attention to what I created.

Asking questions like, “Did this drawing work well?” “What can I do to draw a nose better?” The color is hard to miss, and my growth areas stand out more.

The softness of colored pencils feels nice while drawing, and it surprised me. I like to use a non-photo blue pencil first when sketching heads to rough out the head shape and eye lines, then add in features starting with the eyes and nose.

Suppose you want the easiest way to begin drawing a face. Starting with the left eye, then the nose, and over to the right eye works well. Down to the mouth or up to the eyebrows next is a good order. Try this out and find what direction works best for you.

The smoothness of colored pencil lines makes for a buttery drawing experience. Of course, the rich color will create a pleasant feeling on the page you’ll enjoy taking in as you look back on your growth.

Draw when you can, where you can

In conclusion, I want you to know I understand it can be challenging to find time to draw. Let go of needing hours to work on the pages in your sketchbook. Even fifteen minutes at a time will do fine.

Opening up your sketchbook first thing in the morning, looking at a reference photo online, and drawing one portrait, will send a feeling of satisfaction that will last all day.

You drew something. Even one thing is better than nothing.

When you have a day with more time, by all means, draw more. Don’t get hung up on how long. Focus on your accomplishment. You added to your sketchbook, and you’re one step closer to filling it up.

Your art skills are improving.

Take a small sketchbook with you in your bag or back pocket. Sketch on the train, at the park, or in a cafe, even if it’s only for five minutes. You did it.

When you set the intention to draw regularly, use a sketchbook that feels comfortable, and add color and variety, watch how your drawings explode off the page.

Then, make sure to come back and let me know how it’s going.

Happy drawing!

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

Why I Hated The New Batman Movie- Until I Watched It

I refused to see it at first, then changed my mind.

Illustrations by the author.

Let's make one thing crystal clear. I'm a Batman fan. Unlike most people, I actually read the comics and watch the movies and animated series. In fact, as a comic artist myself, I love drawing Batman.

The only problem? I'm kind of tired of him.

We've had way too many Batman movies, and in just the last ten years, we've had Ben Affleck and Christian Bale play the caped crusader in the films.

Moving aside from Affleck, I loved Bale as Batman in The Dark Knight, Christopher Nolan's second film in his series. Perhaps, you'll agree that it's one of the best Batman movies ever made. Pitting him against Heath Ledger's masterful take on the Joker is legendary.

As much as I love seeing Batman do his thing, I felt we should have had at least 3–5 years without new Batman films after Nolan's run. Give us a break, and build up anticipation for seeing him again.

The Justice League movies pulled Affleck out as a hefty Bruce Wayne, inspired by Frank Miller's Dark Knight, breaking bones and whispering raspy to give us a mediocre Bats performance.

Enough. I was done. Time for a Batman pause, don't you think Hollywood?

Nope. The money is just too good. They had to keep the train moving and announced a new film with Twilight actor Robert Pattinson as The Batman and directed by Matt Reeves—known for the Planet of The Apes films.

What?! Are you kidding me? Pattinson? That skinny, whiny dude? No way I'm watching that one. I guessed Hollywood figured people would spend money on a Batman movie no matter who's playing him.

Before watching The Batman

With Pattinson playing Bruce Wayne, I lost interest. It felt like anyone could play Batman nowadays. If just anyone can fit the role, why not get Channing Tatum or Finn Wolfhard—the kid from Stranger Things. As a Black man, I'd love to see Jaden Smith take on the caped crusader. Heck, let's go ahead and break the ground wide open, dig deeper.

Hint. Hollywood didn't.

So, when The Batman came out, I decided there was no way I would see it.

The trailer of him walking up to a gang with Joker painted faces and beating the crap out of them made him look like a psycho. And a bit silly. The scenes with Detective Gordon looked like they were trying too hard to look dark and gritty.

In my mind, I was okay with missing this one. Plus, the fact that it's three hours long! My issues with these saga-length movies recently were discussed thoroughly in a previous article about how they’re too damn long.

I avoided it the first month it was out. Then, my birthday came up, and I needed something fun to do for myself. As a husband and father, I rarely get out of the house for something only I want to do.

Looking up the reviews of The Batman, I discovered the critics were pretty happy with it overall. They said it was a bit too dark, with no jokes or light moments, but a pretty decent movie.

As a gift to myself, I decided to try the movie. If it sucked, I could write a review on Medium and make it an excuse to get my frustration out through the craft of writing. I am a Batman fan, after all.

After watching The Batman

I loved it. That’s right, I was hating on it before and was nervous it would be the worst three hours of my life, but surprisingly, I thoroughly enjoyed The Batman.

Yes, it was dark, sad, heavy, and they made Bruce Wayne look like a weirdo, but I like this take on him. If you think about it, a guy running around in a bat suit fighting crime is crazy.

For the first time, they addressed that he’s a billionaire orphan who thinks he has it the worst because his parents were killed. A tragedy to happen to anybody, but he can still live a privileged life. So many people have to go through worse, and it doesn’t drive them to become reclusive vigilantes.

Pitting him against The Riddler was interesting because it allowed us to see more of a detective Batman, still figuring out how the Gotham city underworld works. It’s only two years after Bruce started going out as Bats, so he keeps having to decide who he is and what to do at every turn.

The action scenes were pretty good, but I felt it looked a bit similar to The Dark Knight, but it is Batman, so there are certain things he has to do in the movies. I loved Zoe Kravitz as Catwoman, and her performance brought the whole film together for me, and the world wouldn’t have worked without her.

The cinematography was gorgeous, and it’s a movie I will buy and watch while drawing. I could put it on in the background, mute the sound, and enjoy watching the images as I write and create to keep my energy up.

I went to the restroom once during the film. But all in all, the three hours moved by quickly. They needed the time, and I’m glad they used it. When I was in high school, I dreamed of a dark Batman movie, and my young dream came true with The Batman.

Sometimes movies aren’t always what they seem

You can’t judge a movie by its trailer. At least not always. I’m pretty good at detecting a stinker from watching the previews, but this surprised me. If you’re a Batman fan and on the fence whether or not to spend the time to see it, I say go.

You can wait until it’s streaming online somewhere, and it will be worth your time. I’m glad I saw it in the theater, though, and it was more dynamic to watch the action scenes on the big screen.

I’m willing to admit I was wrong. The Batman is a good take on a character done to death. The movie showed me how you can still make characters fresh and breathe new life into them.

I’m looking forward to the sequel and where they’ll take Pattinson next.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

3 Reasons You're Unsatisfied With Adulthood

And how to change your mindset to get more out of life.

Wincing at life. Illustrated by the author.

I bet you thought becoming an adult would be so much fun. You would have complete control of your life, no parents telling you what to do.

Thinking the same almost ruined me when I got out in my twenties. "Wait. You mean I have to make all the decisions now and stop blaming everything on my parents?"

Yup. It gets real, real fast.

“As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.”
David Sedaris, Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls

I get what makes it feel sucky at times as a creative professional, husband, and father through more than twenty-five years of adult life after college under my belt.

I learned it’s about more than just screaming "Life sucks!" every time events don't go your way. Paying attention to these three reasons below can help you stay confident while slaying adulting.


1. Life is complicated no matter where you are on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Life is tough no matter what. How much you have or gain doesn't exclude you from the difficulties life throws at you constantly. I know you want more out of it, and for a good reason, but you forget, or perhaps aren't appreciating, everyone isn't in the same place as you.

Even if they were, it wouldn't matter anyway. Hard to hear, perhaps, but taking an honest look at where we are right now can help give you perspective.

Understanding where you are on the hierarchy of needs pyramid can help you know where you're going and give you faith things can improve.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs poster courtesy of playvolutionhq.com.

Let's say you reached the top. Self-actualization is all yours now. All your financial needs are taken care of; you have time to create, have meaningful relationships, and control your daily schedule. Does this mean nothing negative will ever happen to you?

When life is going insanely well, we tend to despise setbacks when they happen, almost as if we've earned the right not to have to deal with them. It's almost as if only the good things should be in our lives because we have it so good.

Consequently, if we're towards the bottom of the pyramid and our basic needs aren't being met, we want to climb up and believe getting more will solve all our problems. Life will be easier when you're at the top but not devoid of tough times.

You'll be in a more balanced place to deal with the poop as it flies at you, but no amount of security, money, or love can stop the truth of life.

Bad things happen to good people. So, accept it, take full responsibility when it all goes sideways and take care of what's necessary to get your life back on track.

The excellent news, hard times can and will get better, even if it doesn't feel that way today.



2. You think successful people are 100% happy

Striving to become a better person is good, and only working your a$$ off to buy a bigger house is not.

Scrolling social media makes you jealous of others and their perceived joyful and prosperous life, and it's never as great as it looks. Still, you want to do more, have more, and be more because you see it's possible.

The people you admire as successful do not have a perfect life, and an ideal life doesn't exist. With all the money and power, the CEO you gawk at could be having marital problems at home or health issues they're hiding from the public.

We're all battling something.

Admiring the success of others is inspiring and can fill you with joy. Put keep your mind in the reality zone. Adulthood should be about striving for the personal success important to you while understanding life can never be perfect.

Are you able to think through everything you have at this moment, good and bad, and still smile? What gives you pleasure, even though the pain?

Everything you work hard for should feel worth the stress and strain. When times are hard for me, I love drawing as an outlet. Opening up a sketchbook and trying my hand at a portrait or a funny animated character helps me smile again.

When you take stock in your achievements and where you still want to go, appreciating what you've already accomplished goes a long way. Gratitude is the key to joy, even if it's only because you understand how important life's basics are.

If you're healthy and able to go for what gets your excitement rising each morning, you have a lot to be thankful for—let that empower you.

“You’ll never see a happy ungrateful person.”

Zig Ziglar



3. You compare yourself to the wrong people.

We're all sold the idea, in America at least, that making it equals big paychecks, lots of sex, and a mansion the size of an art museum. You're not genuinely making it if you're missing these symbols of success.

Not valid for everyone, and it doesn't have to be what you desire either.

Why are you doing all of this? Is it a part of your life purpose, or because you saw someone else doing it and decided it would be cool?

Make specific, thoughtful choices. I decided a long time ago going after vast sums of money wasn't going to be my goal. Life taught me money makes things easier.

I had to understand it's OK to want to make a good salary to take care of basic needs and save for retirement; it took years to accept I enjoy travel and need enough for at least one adventure a year.

Maybe that's not necessary for everyone, but travel matters to me. Seeing the world helps me feel wealthy, and I love learning about other cultures and cities.

What do you need to benefit you, your family, and your overall mental health right now? Write down a list of your needs and wants. Getting serious about what matters to you as an individual, not what you think you "should" desire is a good goal.

Are you in a place mentally to work towards being a self-actualized human being? If you don't know where to go, you can't stay on the right road.

Once you have a list of what you truly want, you can find people who have done what you strive for and learn from their experiences. Read about them, or better yet, talk to them in person if you can.

You will reach your goals if you compare yourself to the right people. The people doing precisely what you aspire to do in your life.

“Don’t you find it odd,” she continued, “that when you’re a kid, everyone, all the world, encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you’re older, somehow they act offended if you even try.”
Ethan Hawke, The Hottest State



Figure out a way to pursue your dreams

You have roadblocks to your goals. But if you get creative and find a way to go after your dreams, your life will feel loads more fulfilling and enjoyable.

No one said a good life would be easy.

Even doing what you love part-time, or dare I say, as a hobby, can create balance and instant smiles each morning you wake.

Take full responsibility for your life and do what it takes to do what you love. Yes, it may be more challenging if you're a person of color, or suffering an illness, but there are always ways to make things work.

  • Take time to plan how to save enough money to give you the freedom to do more of your passions.

  • Ask for help from people who can assist you on your journey or give you advice. Or, even better—mentoring.

  • Work a job that doesn't take all of your brainpower, and do your passion during your off hours until you can do it full-time.

  • Spend more time in groups with people who enjoy what you love. Life is less crappy when you spend it with others.

Permit yourself to love life by structuring it in a way that benefits your interests.

Keep your head in the right place. Not wanting too much all the time and giving thanks for what you have can change your outlook.

“I’ve been very blessed in my personal life and in my career and I have never been ungrateful for what I have.”

Mandy Patinkin


Movies Are Too Damn Long

Why not simplify and tell better stories, Hollywood?

Photo by tommao wang on Unsplash

Going to the movies feels like work now.

You have to sit through twenty minutes of previews; then, you already feel like it’s time to use the restroom when the movie actually starts.

Are you with me in wishing Hollywood would get better at telling more succinct stories? Let’s keep them at under two hours, please.

Whatever happened to an hour and a half? The amount of time to pull you in, present the characters and problem, take you through the climax and finish with a nice tying up of loose ends. Ah! That used to feel good.

Not anymore. Hollywood wants us to go back into movie theaters but gives us films longer than our commutes to work and back. Who wants to spend three hours in a big room with other germy humans, talking and checking their phones, when you could be at home?

Not only your comfort zone, but home is where you have all the power to pause, rewind, or shut off the movie you’re streaming whenever needed.

You’re not trapped in a box with a bunch of strangers.

Movies don’t have to be so long

You know it’s possible to cut out the majority of that three-hour movie you just watched, but the directors didn’t. In fact, they probably cut hours of footage to keep it under four.

I love how much we can do with special effects and how Hollywood is better at making quality movies now than thirty years ago, but I believe people are tired. Yes, from the pandemic and world affairs, but emotionally exhausted as well. Can we have a short escape that doesn’t vacuum our free time?

That’s probably why more people are watching YouTube videos. Give me a fifteen-minute piece of entertainment, where I can choose whether or not to watch another afterward, is golden. Having the power to decide how to use your entertainment time is compelling.

Believe it or not, I love going to the movies. Watching on the big screen and only having one thing to focus on for a couple of hours is magical. I can follow the story more leisurely and appreciate the hard work and creativity the cast and crew put into it.

If you’re making a marathon-length film, you have to expect some people to miss parts of the story. Either you’re leaving to use the restroom or zoning out while watching, thinking about when to get up and go to the bathroom.

Am I obsessed with having the freedom to relieve myself during a movie? Yes. There should be no shame in using the bathroom, but extremely long movies make you scared you’re going to miss something important. If you stay seated and push through, you’re uncomfortable and not enjoying it the way you should.

Bring back the intermission

Let’s treat going to the movies like watching a play. Please give us an intermission. You know you need a break between all the action and plot points to use the restroom and stretch your legs.

We take way too long for the entire story arc to play out nowadays, and viewers are left twiddling their thumbs while thinking about when to get up to go pee.

You have to sit longer than ever now because most Marvel movies, for example, have post-credit scenes. You have 20–30 minutes of sitting to watch a 30-second teaser that connects to the next film.

I love that this gives people a chance to read the credits and understand how many people it takes to make that special effects blockbuster you just watched, but it’s a considerable time investment we shouldn’t feel sad about missing.

If you know there’ll be an intermission, deciding to go to a movie theater will be more manageable and less stressful.

Give us our time back

We have enough devices and screens vying for our time and attention these days. While watching a movie in the theaters, you may stay focused on one thing, but so much of your day is sucked away by how long they are. For some people, I can see why they would opt out.

With our busy lives, it’s tough to devote half your day to go to the movies. There’s so much you’re missing or could be doing.

When you shorten movies and give more bang in less time, people feel like their time was well spent. I didn’t even bring up the giant elephant in the room—what if the movie sucks?

You’re spending hours of your life watching something terrible. Walking out of the theater in shock at how poorly you spent your time and how badly Hollywood just wasted it.

I’m looking for better, shorter, and more creative ways to tell stories, so we don’t have to devote our entire lives to our favorite movies or franchises. One upside to a shorter film is wanting more when the credits roll.

Remember that feeling?

We sure don’t have much of that anymore. When a movie is done playing through nowadays, we breathe a sigh of relief. “Phew! We made it through!”

The only exception is animated movies. Am I the only one going into one with less weight on my shoulders, knowing it will be a fun experience and over relatively quickly?

I’m sure animation studios would make three-hour movies if it didn’t take a bajillion years to make one. Sometimes the constraints of the creative arts can be a good thing.

Movies are too damn long, and making them last longer does not equal higher quality. From now on, I’m giving more props to the ones that can put it all together beautifully in under two hours.

Let’s see if Hollywood is up to the challenge.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

Three Scientific Reasons to Smile More Every Day

What does a smile really mean in the grand scheme of things?

Imagine you’re walking by a person on the street. They look you in the eyes and give you a big smile. I bet you feel better already. The energy of that smile travels over and makes you smile back. 

It’s infectious, and I bet it’s what you need right now.

But, why?

Yes, life is challenging all over the world in these uncertain times. Everyone is battling something and could use a little pick-me-up in the energy department, but there’s more to it than that. 

You need to know that a smile is possible right now. It’s a sign of hope. 

When you see someone else filled with joy, you know it’s possible for you too. Even if you don’t have anything on your mind to smile about, the act is simple. 

Smiling is something you can do for yourself anytime, even if you’re not feeling happy at the moment, and it leads you down the road to more positive energy. Even if your life is full of things you can’t do, you know you can, as the saying goes, turn that frown upside down. 

Smiling takes effort, though. Why should you bother? Isn’t it better to walk around with a mean mug, so others know you’re about business? 

Here are three reasons you should make a point to smile more each day.

A smile lifts you when you’re feeling down

When you’ve been upset about something, how often do you think about cracking a smile? Not much, I’m pretty sure, but making a point to smile can help quickly pull you out of your funk.

Scientific studies suggest a smile can trick your brain into thinking you’re happy. Your body will produce endorphins, a natural painkiller, to alleviate your sadness.

Researchers at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, and Texas A&M, wrote a paper looking at 50 years of data testing whether facial expressions can lead people to feel emotions connected to those expressions.

Nicholas Coles, a UT Ph.D. student in social psychology and lead researcher on the paper, found these results:

Using a statistical technique called meta-analysis, Coles and his team combined data from 138 studies testing more than 11,000 participants from all around the world. According to the results of the meta-analysis, facial expressions have a small impact on feelings. For example, smiling makes people feel happier, scowling makes them feel angrier, and frowning makes them feel sadder.

Making a point to smile more, especially in difficult times, could be just what you need.

A smile helps ease your anxiety 

Feeling anxious is pretty much standard these days. There’s so much to worry about. It’s no wonder people are doing all they can to escape their emotions, like drinking liquor and taking anti-anxiety drugs. Why not try a simple smile?

Smiling helps to relieve stress and calm anxiety.  

It might sound silly, but if you treat smiling like exercise for your mouth muscles, I bet you’d remember to do it more. It feels like it takes more effort than a frown when I smile for no reason, and my mouth needs me to keep it turned up, or it falls back into that flat neutral zone.

The more you smile, the stronger and easier it gets to do the action, and the better you’ll feel. Associating what makes you anxious as a negative is most likely part of the cause of your fears. If we smile while thinking about what’s giving us anxiety, it can become more of a favorable opportunity in our minds.

It is similar to an area of growth or chance to prove you have what it takes to succeed in life or your day-to-day work. 

A smile can help you live a longer life

The secret to a long life has a smile a day included in its ingredients. Yes, there are plenty of angry older people, but for the most part, growing old takes looking at life with the proper perspective. You have to see the positive and smile in response to help your attitude remain light and keep a youthful mind.

There’s something about using your facial muscles to smile that turns up the number of years you live. 

A research project at Wayne State University was done in 2010, tracking the longevity of baseball players who smiled in their baseball cards. This study found that the span of a player’s smile could predict their life span. 

Players who didn’t smile in their pictures lived an average of only 72.9 years, while players with beaming smiles lived an average of 79.9 years. Not a huge difference, I know, but my guess is the smiling players had a better quality of life and isn’t that what really matters?

How you feel about yourself and the life you’re creating is an essential part of waking up and facing your days. 

Keep smiling to uplift your life

Make a decision right now to remember to smile. I’m not talking about just every time you see someone, more about when you’re alone, even when you’re on your laptop getting work done. Remember to smile. Are you driving to work?

Smile.

You know it feels magnificent, but how come you don’t make a point to smile more throughout the day? Yeah, maybe smiling when you’re alone looks ridiculous, but who cares. A smile is a reward for all the stress and strife you’re facing in uncertain times. Give yourself that gift and get over how it may look to others. 

Remind yourself to smile, almost like you remember to stretch or workout. You’ll feel better, and when you pass someone else and help them lighten up, they’ll probably end up smiling too. 

Spreading joy has never been more effortless.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

A Keanu Reeves Quote to Remember When Life Rips You to Shreds

Hint: It’s not about becoming a supervillain.

Image courtesy of screenrant.com.

Experiencing ups and downs in your career and relationships can bring you to the point where you wonder if you should even keep trying.

Life's decisions and challenges can be like an action movie of the mind. You're dodging bullet-like events, staying strong through heartbreak and loss, while walking with your head up to keep from falling to the ground from the vertigo of events spinning around in your head.

Do you have to go through the trauma of losing your wife and exacting revenge like John Wick through a shoot-em-up flurry of gun craziness to feel like your issues have merit?

Nope.

The difficulties you face are more powerful than you're giving them credit for each day.

I've lost a sister far too young, a good friend shot and killed by the police, and took chances on jobs and creative pursuits that didn't work out and left me feeling hurt and utterly defeated.

Loss is something I'm very familiar with, but I still find a way to smile.

Friends and family think I'm always a positive, happy guy who can get through anything. I could never understand why. This quote gave me some insight and might help you too.

“If you have been brutally broken but still have the courage to be gentle to other living beings, then you’re a badass with a heart of an angel.”

-Keanu Reeves

The pandemic and world events have been rocking you back and forth like a ship in a storm. No one is immune to tough times right now. Please know staying a good person through it all is a testament to your strength and character.

Don't let it break you. Or, even worse, make you hate your life.

Turning to alcohol and drugs is a common way to cope. Not ideal for many reasons and a weak way to handle things, but it can make you think you're doing something to get through.

Remembering you're not a lonely action hero is better.

Find a support system of good friends or groups you can visit to talk through your pain and face it head-on. Feel your anger, shame, disappointment, and sadness so you can release it from your being.

As humans, we need a community to feel cared for and help us stay strong together. There's nothing weak about getting help.

When my youngest sister died at twenty-five years old, I was devastated. Fortunately, a friend suggested a men's support group, and I made the time to attend each week, which was transformational.

I learned about the stages of grief and accepted that some days would hurt like hell, while others would feel better, but over time, I would handle the loss with more ease.

My sister's memory is always there; missing her never goes away, but I keep her in my heart.

Joining the support group was something that would have sounded silly to me if a friend hadn't have cared enough to recommend it to me. It kept me from dealing with it all by taking drugs or other self-destructive activities.

A community can stand by your side and help lift you instead of just giving up.

If current world events aren't transforming you into a supervillain, you're pretty darn impressive. Give yourself some credit.

The truth is, as you age, everything gets more complicated. You get more responsibilities, your body breaks down, slows down, and gets tired easier.

You can toughen up, and I've seen so many seemingly weak people do it and grow the thick skin and loving heart needed to take the punches and still care for others as long as you decide in your head to overcome it all.

Owning your badassness can work wonders for your confidence. You can harden yourself on the outside while staying gentle and flexible inside.

When the guns of life are all pointing your way, know you have what it takes to keep being who you are and give the world your unique gifts.

I hope this pep talk helped upgrade your perspective.

Even heroes need a boost now and then. It's time to get out there and make Keanu proud.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

3 Mindset Shifts to Help You Hate Yourself

And motivate you to do better.

Illustrated by the author.

Being a success is overrated.

Why worry about making yourself better when the world is slowly spiraling down the toilet bowl?

Let's get real here, people.

Thinking positively does little to help your attitude anyway, and you just end up feeling like a fake. Facing reality and putting yourself down can work wonders. Take it from me, a generally positive person, at least that's what all my friends call me—I'm ready for a change.

These last few years, I survived a pandemic, watching good people die in droves even after being careful not to spend time in crowds but still end up catching covid. Wearing masks and washing hands only to still, that's right, see more people catch covid. Other self-proclaimed good folks believe they don't even need a vaccine, and it's all a hoax. They seem fine with themselves.

Meanwhile, I lose my job and have to learn to survive and find a new one while everyone else is fleeing theirs. Should I try to be happy? Make it all the better by telling myself positive mantras?

If someone can decide what life means to them and choose how to live it the way they want, even if it's ridiculous, I've opted that thinking positively is getting thrown out the window.

Here's a mindset shift that defies what self-help gurus preach, so we can start demotivating ourselves and get honest about our situations. It's time you gain power from negative self-criticism.

1. Recognize your negative cycle and give it a hug

Criticizing yourself and your appearance after waking up in the morning, looking at your sad reflection staring back, is the new motivation for success. Dominate your mind with negative talk about how you need to lose weight and exercise more.

I bet your hair looks awful. Isn't it time for a new hairdo?

Yeah, your job sucks. Who cares. What are you going to do about it? Nothing. I thought so.

Doesn't this feel good?

Destructive self-talk sculpts an image of yourself that's hard to break unless you recognize you're doing it in the first place. Embrace this downer version of you and let the Eeyore-like side shine.

What? Is all this negativity silly to you? After smelling all your garbage, you should want to clean it up.

2. See your negative self-image as a flame, and fan it

The more you fan a flame, the more it burns. It's time to grow yours into a roaring fire with negative self-talk. How bad can you make yourself feel?

Dare yourself to try. How many crappy details about your life and failures can you drum up? Life ain't always great, so stop pretending.

Give it all you got, and feel that fire rage inside. The worse you feel, the better.

You might get so enraged that you get completely sick and tired of being sick and tired. So what?

Why don't you do something about it? Oh, you're too lazy, huh?

If only you cared enough to think of times where you made the right choices and succeeded. Accept that some things in life work out, and others don't.

Feeling bad about yourself can help make you feel good.

3. Be unkind to yourself to motivate change

The other day I cursed at myself for making a wrong turn and having to re-route the directions to an appointment—one I was already late for anyway. I could have been kind and talked to my brain about how everything will be fine and work out well in the end.

But it didn't. Me being late made everything worse and upset people I care about. Maybe next time I have a meaningful engagement, I should leave super early because I suck at finding new places.

Making sure to step outside yourself and see the bad can help you know what to improve. You shouldn't hide behind positivity if you want to make real change.

You have to be unkind to yourself to know where to grow and get so upset you actually do something instead of just talking.

The end is not nigh

You have triggers that make you feel down on yourself or give up, and you might as well discover them so you know when you're spanking yourself. When we feel at our lowest, we are often about to make a breakthrough.

If you can tell when you're at rock bottom, you can be open for the moment of clarity that helps you see where to go next. Giving yourself a chance to notice what pulls you down can help you know how to climb back up. Or, better yet, how not to spiral down in the future.

Times are tough in the world right now, and we need to be tougher. You can't always fix everything by just thinking positively.

You've seen those old black and white photos of families from a hundred years ago. They weren't smiling, and they were surviving.

They didn't finish a day on the farm, working out in the hot sun, smiling, and telling themselves how happy they were. Looking in the mirror, telling themselves life can be easy and fun when life was hard. Our ancestors had very few options.

It's much easier now, but we act like it should be a breeze.

Life is still challenging, no matter how nicer our living conditions have become—facing negativity and letting it run all over you is how to understand what gets you down and leads to change.

Unless you suffer from chronic depression, you might want to see a doctor and get on medication if that's the case.

The rest of us can learn to live with our negativity and practice some grit.

Cheers to the new you.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

4 Ways Risking Your Life to Be a Teacher Has Its Benefits

Helping others succeed while dodging covid can give you more time to do what you love.

Image courtesy of viralityfacts.com.

Teachers are leaving the profession in such ridiculous droves you would think a ticking time bomb was placed under their desks. The low pay, stress, and fear of catching covid feel like a career in education could blow up in your face.

If you’ve got the guts to stare at possible death in the face while wearing a mask all day, teaching could give you more of what you want out of life. Does this sound crazy? Sure. We’re living in a time where going to work and catching covid could kill you.

Ignoring this fact is unrealistic.

There’s risk everywhere nowadays. If you’re privileged enough to believe everyone can work remotely from home and stay away from other people, you should open your eyes. No matter what variant of covid is going around, everyone needs to pay the bills.

Most workers have to stay afloat by showing up to work on-site, hopefully fully vaccinated. Teaching, like any profession, has its positives and negatives, but if you look at it in the right way, it is still a pretty darn good job.

It’s time we diffuse the bomb and take another look at why teaching is the most remarkable career in these uncertain times.

1. You give a lot but get so much more in return

Imagine a job where you get to help young people learn new skills and information that will prepare them for their future. I bet, if you’re not a teacher, that doesn’t sound all that great at first. Maybe something for a kind friend you have who’s always volunteering their time to others, but not you.

Watching someone grow into a more intelligent, mature, and confident individual is more fulfilling than you might realize. I didn’t even know how fulfilling it could be at first.

I loved drawing comics and dreamed of becoming a famous cartoonist when I was a kid. My mother was a teacher, and there was no way I would become a teacher too. In my mind, teaching would mean I failed as an artist.

No thanks.

After graduating from college with a degree in graphic design, I began freelancing with a portfolio more tailored towards illustration. Finding a full-time illustration job didn’t work out, and I fell into teaching art in elementary school.

I knew I would hate it and expected it to suck—the magic of sharing my skills with kids and seeing them grow as artists were infectious. I fell in love with teaching.

My students said thank you to me regularly, and I felt like teaching gave back so much more than entertaining people with my illustrations and comics ever could.

It’s true. If you want to make a difference in the world—teach.

2. Low pay but more time off to do what you love

Here’s the thing, according to a recent study by the RAND Corporation, nearly one out of four teachers in the U.S. considered leaving their job by the end of the school year because of work-related stress and low pay.

Teaching ain’t easy these days.

If you can put your heart into your work by giving more focus to how you’re helping students, you may stay in the profession longer. One way to balance out the hard work is with generous vacation time.

Time for your hobbies and side hustles. With two weeks off during the holidays, a week at spring break, and two months off in the summer, not to mention every other major holiday, you can make time for doing your hobbies.

In essence, you’re getting paid for an entire year but only working full-time for nine months.

One part of teaching that shocks me to this day is how exhausted I am when these vacations come around—like borderline burnt out. Of course, the level of depletion you experience depends on where you’re teaching and what you go through each day. In some situations, school systems, student bodies, and faculty can be better or worse than others.

Teaching can truly take it out of you, but if you have something creative you love to do, it can give you the time to work on your projects. Not just during time off, but each working day. You are the one running your classes and deciding when to grade or plan outside of instructional hours, so your personal time is flexible.

Maybe you have a principal peeking over your shoulder every minute, but I doubt it. Most likely, though, teaching feels more like running your own business. There are always requirements to meet and people to please, but you can make the most of your time the way you choose.

Even when the days are tough, teachers are creative and can lighten the mood to keep everyone sane with a bit of insanity.

Image courtesy of viralityfacts.com.

3. Teachers can leave the profession and come back

There’s no corporate ladder, so you can do something else and return to teaching in your exact position. In fact, the experience you’ll bring with you from your other career could enhance what you teach your students. You might have to move to a new school or district, but that could help you negotiate a higher salary.

If you’re looking to transition into another field, you have time to study or build a business while teaching. The schedule is predictable, so you can efficiently plan and use your off time.

I spent three years freelance writing in my off time and then took a copywriting job with a tech company in silicon valley.

At that time, I was ready for a new challenge. I felt the need to grow as a writer and learn new skills, so I made a move, knowing full well I could go back to teaching if necessary.

The pandemic hit almost two years later, and BAM, I lost my job—going back to education was a lifesaver.

I could bring what I learned in the corporate world and, along with teaching art, help by working with communications and marketing of the school. It’s a blast combining my love of the arts and storytelling with writing and sharing content.

After several more years, who knows, perhaps work writing or drawing opportunities may come up. I could leap again to help grow and learn new skills, knowing I have years of experience in education to fall back on.

Even though the trend nowadays seems to be either quitting your job or working for only a year, I like staying for 2–3 years if possible. You learn the ropes and have more time for deeper connections with coworkers and students.

Teaching at a school isn’t the only way to be an educator, though.

4. Teachers can work everywhere

You can teach in a classroom at a school if that’s your goal, but there are plenty of opportunities online. Remote learning is enormous and most likely here to stay. Many professionals will take courses remotely via zoom, and schools need people who understand designing and building a curriculum.

If you want to go corporate, companies need teachers to help train new employees. Even in sales, having experience speaking in front of a group and clearly explaining the benefits of products is not something everyone can do well. Teaching experience gives you advantages.

As we get a better hold on the pandemic, more jobs will open teaching overseas where you can experience another country and culture. I lived in Japan teaching English for two years and absolutely loved my time there.

Getting a chance to live in such a beautiful country, learn the language, and even meet my wife made me appreciate the doors a teaching career can open for you.

If you look at your career in education as an excellent way to learn new skills and grow as a person, you can move into just about any job. The issue right now is with staying healthy and avoiding getting covid.

Comparing your career to an adventure may sound extreme, but in a lot of ways, it’s true. You have to be ready for the twists and turns but stay open to where it can take you, and I say it’s worth the risks.

If you’re a teacher who sees the benefits of your profession, take hold of the possibilities and explore your options. You’re in demand. Maybe you’re someone who enjoys helping others and can transition into a career in education. I say go for it.

Where will you decide to teach next?

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

This Star Wars Fight Scene Shows You How to Live in The Moment

Start behaving like a Jedi to embrace the here and now.

Image screenshot of Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace, property of Disney and Lucasfilm.

Modern life can feel like a battle at times. Ongoing work and responsibilities wear you down to a point where you can't even remember who you are anymore.

You feel like a robot, or a droid from Star Wars, carrying out your programming with the sole purpose of serving others. How can you stay connected to who you are and lead a more balanced life?

Watching one of my favorite fight scenes in Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace always reminds me of an important truth I think will help you when life gets overwhelming.

I'll admit, it's not the best overall movie, but the fight choreography when Qui-gon Jinn and Obi-Wan fight Darth Maul mixed with that banging Duel of the Fates score is pretty badass.

I always get caught by Qui-gon's decision to meditate during a break in the lightsaber battle—a decisive moment that displays a lot about his character and how we can handle stressful situations.

If you don't remember the scene, take a look here. The part I'm talking about is at the 2-minute mark.

Qui-gon Jinn is in the literal fight of his life, and what does he do when barriers block him from advancing on Darth Maul? He decides to sit and pay attention to the moment.

Breathing, and most likely visualizing his next moves, but doing it calmly and peacefully—moving away from anxiety and fear through meditation.

On the other hand, Darth Maul paces back and forth impatiently, grimacing at Qui-gon like an animal starving for blood. This is one of the few times in a Star Wars film where I can actually feel the difference between being a Sith and a Jedi beyond just the visuals.

The fact that Qui-gon loses and ultimately gets stabbed is, of course, heartbreaking, but because we love what he stands for as a true Jedi master, we're moved by his death.

You're right there with Obi-Wan when he screams and runs in after the barrier opens to shred it up with Darth.

Does this mean meditation is useless? Qui-gon Jinn lost after all. Maybe he should have stayed standing up inside that red force field, staring at Darth Maul while gritting his teeth in frustration.

Or, perhaps it's all about how Qui-gon decided to live his life while alive.

You can admire his choice, and it's clear he understood the possible consequences involved in the battle. He was fighting highly trained evil and could most likely die. I'm sure he was in this situation many times before, but he kept centered and focused.

Qui-gon lost that Darth Maul battle, but he won being a master Jedi in control of his emotions through mindfulness.

We never know the outcome of the risks we take in life, but we should still take them. Pausing and paying attention to the present moment can help make you stronger and get you through it all with grace.

Here's how to think like a Jedi and become one with the force.

You can accept the truth in the present moment

If a Jedi can stop in the middle of a lightsaber duel to sit and meditate, you have the same choice when challenges feel insurmountable. Make sure to pause and pay attention to your thinking and emotions to handle how to proceed.

If the force is all around us, why not tap into its energy by sitting in silence for several minutes? People, most likely, are afraid to look at reality with honesty. If your situation sucks, it's OK to accept it so you can figure out what to do about it.

Sometimes keeping busy and filling up time with unnecessary duties might feel like it's helping you cope, but it's probably slowing you down. I like how this idea is addressed in Eckhart Tolle's book "The Power of Now."

“Accept — then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”

-Eckhart Tolle

Qui-gon knew the dangers of being an elite Jedi warrior and accepted the idea that battles are uncomfortable situations where you could be killed. Even with that acceptance, he charged forward, giving the fight his all.

Make mindfulness time into a habit

Our technology might not be as advanced as in the Star Wars universe, but we can set timers that remind us to be mindful. I know there are apps for this and even writing sticky notes you can place on your laptop, any way you choose, make meditation a habit.

Even if it means remembering to stop what you're doing when you're stressed and taking three deep breaths, you'll feel the benefits.

You can see things for what they are, essential and nuanced, but not the end of the world.

“The greater part of human pain is unnecessary. It is self-created as long as the unobserved mind runs your life. The pain that you create now is always some form of nonacceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what “is.”

-Eckhart Tolle

The next time you're facing adversity, remember this Star Wars fight scene and be like Qui-gon Jinn — take time to breathe and refocus. You might not be facing a life or death situation, but you'll have an easier time not only surviving but winning the day.

In the words of a Jedi master…

“Remember, concentrate on the moment. Feel, don’t think. Use your instincts.”

- Qui-Gon Jinn

Want more? If you're struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

How I Learned a Better Way to Hold Chopsticks

Illustrated by the author.

I thought I held chopsticks correctly.

When I moved to Osaka, Japan, many years ago to teach English in junior high schools, I had a tough time adjusting to being a foreigner in a new country and barely speaking the language. I figured using chopsticks was one thing I had years of practice with, so there was no need to worry.

After only a week of living in Shimamoto, a small town just north of Osaka, I went out to eat with my Japanese coworkers. One of them observed me struggling to pick up a piece of sushi and, without words, showed me how to hold my chopsticks, which turned into a next-level upgrade.

As a cartoonist and storyboard artist, I decided to draw the scene and put it together as an animatic. Take a look at this silent 38-second clip that changed how I use chopsticks to this day…

I never thought holding your chopsticks further up would make such a huge difference. Now, it’s pretty easy to pick up just about anything.

My chopsticks technique grew immensely after that short lesson from one kind coworker. I feel indebted to him to this day. The best part is, I was able to pay it forward.

One evening a few years later, while back in the U.S., I ate out at one of those Benihana-style teppanyaki restaurants. You always sit with others and share a large table while the chef is cooking in front of you. I caught one of the people sitting at the other end, watching me pick up my food easily.

I smiled and noticed he was holding his chopsticks closer to the bottom. Remembering my experience in Japan, I pulled my hand down to open and close them to show how difficult it is to open them wide that way.

As soon as I pulled my hand back up and displayed how wide you can open chopsticks, the guy’s eyes popped wide open. He smiled, changed his hand position to further up, and enjoyed picking up every piece of food thrown at him during the rest of the dinner.

We didn’t even talk to each other, but I could see he appreciated the lesson.

How do you hold your chopsticks? If you learned something new, make sure to share it with others the next time you’re in a Japanese restaurant.

You never know how much it could change their confidence.

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

3 Ways the New Dune Movie Hit Differently From the Book

Even in the future, white people reign supreme

Image created by PopCultArt on Pinterest.

Warning: Dune spoilers ahead.

Why is the chosen one always a white guy?

This thought never entered my mind when I took on the challenge of reading Frank Herbert's mega-sized “Dune” novel.

For years, I wanted to read the book and pushed it away, thinking it would be full of complicated details, songs, and descriptions similar to "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy—which I also haven't read.

Early previews of the new Dune movie directed by Denis Villeneuve looked pretty darn sweet, so I was compelled to grab a paperback brick version of the book.

The story was a slow mover initially, but it came to life when the Atreides family got to the planet of Arrakis, and we learned more about the Fremen and sacred sandworms. As the main character, Paul Atreides, bobs and weaves his way into becoming Maud Dib—a messiah, I was excited for him with the help of his mother, Lady Jessica.

You learn to respect the Fremen of Arrakis in the book and their ways and also understand how a fifteen-year-old ex-pat from another planet could end up taking charge.

Sure, the book's comparisons to the Middle East with battles over their version of oil, melange (spice), is clear. Even as a Black man, casting people of color in the live-action movie surprised me.

The new film was gorgeous but didn't feel how I hoped it would for several reasons.

1. I didn't visualize Black characters in the book, but they were in the movie

Dune the book felt more like a story of a family from planet Caladan coming in like a fish out of water and eventually melting in with the people and culture of planet Arrakis. The idea that the Atreides family is white and the Fremen are Black and brown crossed my mind but didn't linger.

You would assume people who live in the heat of the desert would be brown skin from the sun, and maybe because I'm a Black man, I just saw all the characters as brown or pale white in my head. No one felt Black to me.

Is this just a case of, now that the characters are on screen, I can see how multicultural they are? Not really. Plenty of thought and work goes into choosing a cast of characters in films.

On the one hand, I appreciate the representation of Black actors. Still, on the other, I'm angry the people of color are the ones causing trouble and getting murdered throughout the movie.

Not only Black actors. A double-crossing Asian male character is killed early on. Then a black woman, culminating with, and this one got me, Paul, fighting a Black Fremen in a duel to the death and wins.

Yeah, Paul's been training in his Caladan martial art for years but come on! Does this spoiled son of royalty really have what it takes to go toe-to-toe with a hardened Fremen who survived growing up wild in the desert?

When I read this scene in the book, it made sense. Seeing it on screen stretched my imagination and patience a bit too thin. The feeling I got inside that the casting agents were doing all they could to hire people of color in roles where they knew they could get killed truly irked me.

It is similar to the joke about how Black characters in action and horror movies die first—and they do, time and time again. The new Dune movie was unapologetically dismissive of its cast of color.

2. The chosen one narrative felt like a fact in the movie and not a maybe

In the book, it feels more like a messiah figure is planted in the minds of the Fremen by agents of the Bene Gesserit. I loved the idea that this sort of belief is manufactured and questions our history with divine leaders.

The Fremen believe Paul is the chosen one because they were led to it by storytellers over many years planting ideas in the minds of the Fremen people. If you hadn't read the books, this idea would fly right past you when it's hinted at in the movie.

No ifs, ands, or buts, about it, most viewers watching will assume Paul is the chosen one. If they haven't read the book, they'll miss one of the most intriguing parts of the story.

Is there a true messiah, or is he a creation in a larger plan by outside forces?

Let's hope they bring this back in part two of the movie and challenge his chosen one status. You rarely see this idea in scifi and have to accept the white guy as the divine right ruler of them all—like in The Matrix and Star Wars franchises.

Breaking that tradition in the new Dune movies would not only be more exciting to watch but leave viewers pondering how much is true about what we're led to believe in our culture and society.

In essence, a much more exciting take on the science fiction genre.

3. Pale skin characters were the most cruel villains

How evil house Harkonnen plots to destroy the Atreides, and their hold on the Arrakis spice trade is pretty nasty, but when reading the book, I didn't see them all as white, pale-skinned punk rockers.

The overweight floating Baron was described as someone who could be a white dude in the book, but the Harkonnens were all a pasty mess in the movie.

Was the plan to make it look like the paler you are, the more evil you become? I can't entirely agree with that idea, but I sure got that impression in the movie version.

Their home planet was all dark and rainy. No wonder the Harkonnen are so pissed all the time.

You can understand how visual contrast comes into play here. When you see the warm browns and beige colors of the land and desert people of Arrakis up against the pale evils of the Harkonnen, it makes an impression.

In the book, you get to read their clever plans and how smart Harkonnens are at manipulation. You understand theirs much more to them than pale skin and an insatiable lust for power.

To conclude

Even with all the issues I had with the movie version, I still enjoyed it. The cinematography was gorgeous, and the story felt faithful to the book. The tempo was a little slow at times, almost meditative. Let's hope they'll pick up the pace in part two, so events move faster and hit harder.

You always have to be careful when visual representation is added to anything written. I've experienced this as an artist and illustrator. Working with clients, you get a different reaction when the idea on paper becomes a drawing or painting.

The positive part of the process is making edits and changes to the look and design of visual elements once you see them. You learn very few details are mistakes. Someone has to see it and make a decision to keep it that way.

In a movie as meticulously designed and planned out as the new Dune is, I'm disappointed no one caught the apparent issues of hierarchy set up by race and color. You get the sense that even far in the future, in a star system light-years away, white people are more regal and of higher status than people of color.

Perhaps in Dune part two, they will choose to do a better job of representation, but I doubt it. White males enjoy being seen as the undisputed champions and have the privilege to continue sharing that narrative in film. It’s not stopping anytime soon.

Denis Villeneuve is a talented director, but he's no messiah.

Want more? If you're struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

Are You Addicted to Being Busy or in Love With Your Work?

Why making that distinction could save your life

Waking up at 5 a.m. to work on a personal project or side business before heading off to a day job has now become a common negative stereotype of hustle porn. Do we need to work this much?

If you’re doing something you love, maybe.

Figuring out if what you’re working on is just keeping you busy to make money or giving you something more significant than dollar bills is vital.

I like work. In fact, I’m writing this article early in the morning before my teaching job. Getting up at five in the morning is challenging at times, but the natural high I get from writing and drawing first thing in the morning stays with me throughout the day.

I feel good, and most importantly, I’m having fun.

It wasn’t always this way. There have been plenty of times where I worked myself to the bone freelancing or trying to build a business, asking myself, “Why am I doing this?”

I had to figure out what worked. The hardest part was being honest with myself about what I truly love and desire to do.

The uncomfortable truth is, you may have to get everything wrong before you can move in the direction of what’s right.

What work addiction looks like

You’re afraid of silence. Afraid of peace.

Not what you expected? Hear me out.

You’re accustomed to something happening, or something you have to do is present at all times. You feel like a hard worker when you’re constantly taking care of tasks for your work or thinking about ways to make it better.

You feel like constantly spending time doing, producing, or making, will lead to growth, success, respect, and riches. You overwork yourself.

“I can’t stop, or I’ll get left behind.” you think.

You’re doing time-consuming tasks, keeping you busy but ultimately not moving you forward. It’s not what you love, but you’ve heard this type of business or action at work will lead to financial success. You think it helps you feel better about yourself.

But it leads to burnout.

You can’t let go of making things happen. It’s time to stop, but you can’t see it until your body forces you by getting sick or losing motivation or excitement for what you do.

What loving your work looks like

You can’t wait to get up in the morning to jump into a project you’ve been working on each day. In your mind, making money from it is nice, but you’d do this for free because it’s so much fun.

Even if it’s something you weren’t good at first, but now you’ve learned more and are excited and, not to mention curious, about learning all you can and getting better at it. You have a passion for the work.

Does this mean you never get tired? Of course not. You understand we all get run down eventually.

Burnout can still happen even when you love what you do, or it’s your passion. You know this, so you schedule downtime. Planning work in terms of seasons, months of the calendar year where you’re more productive, and others where you slow down and recharge to help you stay balanced.

I love being an educator and during the pandemic went through teaching primarily on Zoom. At first, I thought holding classes on video would be easier because I’m at home. It ended up being twice as much work.

On top of that, I was keeping up with my daughter’s fifth-grade homeschooling due to the pandemic and drawing comics and writing in what little spare time I had left. I love everything, but after over a year of pushing without much leisure time, I passed out and was sent to the emergency room.

I got sick from one bacterial infection to the next, getting sent to the hospital four times in three months. Fortunately, as a teacher, I get the summers off, so I finally had a wake-up call and made sure to slow down as much as possible and heal.

Like me, you may love what you do but get addicted to doing it regularly. Writing, teaching, and drawing are my outlets, and I could not be myself without them. This could be true, but it doesn’t mean I need to do as much.

Like in the play “Hamilton,” his wife keeps getting on him for “Writing like he’s running out of time.” I feel that way at times. Like I have to get out as much work as possible with the time I have.

Rest and remove the unnecessary

Give yourself true leisure time. Your exhaustion is more than not having a vacation in a long time. It’s the fact that you haven’t made time for real rest.

Some ideas for letting go and giving your body and mind a break are playing sports, meditation or just sitting outside staring at nature, reading a good book, hiking in the woods, and spending time with a good friend.

Refresh your mind and spirit so when it’s time to get back into doing the work you love, you have passionate energy for your chosen passion.

When you know the parts of your business or passion project you enjoy the most, it’s easier to give tasks away to assistants or hired help.

If you don’t have the money to hire help, try and do less of the excruciating functions and spend more time on what you enjoy. When your business grows, you may add on more help with what you like the least.

Being realistic about how much you do and when to rest can save your health and your life.

Decide to take ownership of who you are

You’re not superhuman. No matter how much you enjoy what you do every day. The human body can only take so much.

Stop being addicted to work and accept that loving it leads to burnout just as much as when you hate what you do for a living. Either way, you must give yourself time to rest and rejuvenate.

You’re not going to win an award for the most passionate worker.

Sure, when you hate what you do, you’ll need more time to work through mental frustrations and stress, but doing what you love carries stressors as well.

When you decide what you’re doing is essential to you, make it your way of giving to the world and helping others, then your hard work will feel like it’s worth the time. Planning for relaxation because you know it’s vital for your mental and spiritual health is extremely important.

No one is going to force you to take time for yourself. Even if they do, you are the one who decides what you’ll do with that time.

Learn to love your work and scheduled leisure time so you’ll live long enough to appreciate what you earned.

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

Stop Letting Your Kids Watch Squid Game

Why it's worse than violent video games

Disclaimer: Squid Game spoilers are sprinkled throughout this article.

"I love watching Squid Game. It's so good!" a 7th-grade student said to me the other day.

How are they able to watch a show like that at their age? I was shocked with a massive side of feeling appalled.

In some ways, I get it. The setup of Netflix's most-watched show to date grabs you and won't let go. Everyone's talking about it, and you're thrilled to join in and be a part of the phenomenon. Who cares if it glorifies senseless killing and makes it seem like a person's life is meaningless. It's gripping entertainment.

The entertainment we as adults can look at from many sides and approach objectively is fine. What about people who openly let their kids who are under the age of 15 watch? Yes, I believe Squid Game is too raw and real even for teenagers.

Right off the bat, I enjoyed the show and was pleasantly surprised by the direction it took at every turn. No surprise, I usually hate bloody series where people's lives are popped off like they're roaches infesting a house. The story and mystery of Squid Game caught me.

As a father of an eleven-year-old, though—who I would never let view such a violent extravaganza—I was shocked to discover families are sitting down, cuddling together, and watching Squid Game like it was made for them.

As a middle school teacher, my 6th-8th grade students love discussing the show and talking about their favorite parts and bragging about how their parents can't wait to make popcorn and get back to viewing a show where hundreds of gamblers and criminals compete in childhood games and get shot dead if they lose.

Maybe it's because the show's violence is relegated to mainly getting shot, stabbed, or dropped from great heights. It's not excessively gory or disgusting to watch, but players of the game are being killed and incinerated the entire run.

Survival shows are nothing new, and I know young people enjoy watching them. Squid Game feels different to me for several reasons.

Popularity doesn't mean it's suitable for everyone

The show wouldn't get the attention it does from families if it weren't as popular. Viewers want in on the latest hit, no matter the genre or plot. Heck, that's how it pulled me in.

Squid Game was released on September 17 and, in 23 days, became the top most successful show on Netflix, leaving its other popular show, Bridgerton, in the dust. Over 1 billion hours were spent watching the series by viewers.

It caught on like wildfire but is that an excuse to let kids watch?

Part of the show's draw is the childlike games the players engage in, like Red Light Green Light, where if you're caught moving on red, you get shot dead.

An interesting idea. What's stopping children from adding killing to their games out on the playground? Even if it's just pretending—point your finger at a friend and pretend to shoot them down—is this ok?

A council in England doesn't think so. The Central Bedfordshire council in the south of England issued notices to parents to make them aware of where watching shows like Squid Game could lead:

“There have been some concerning reports recently about children and young people ‘playing’ Squid Game whilst at school. Squid Game is also being viewed via other platforms such as YouTube and TikTok, and given the popularity of the games in the show, developers have made various mini-games based on Squid Game on Roblox and other gaming platforms.

We strongly advise that children should not watch Squid Game. The show is quite graphic with a lot of violent content.”

When you see how meaningless the characters' lives feel in the show, dying seems like nothing important at all. Not only is this desensitizing young people to killing and death, due to the nature of the children-themed games they play, it feels like the characters deserved it.

Violent video games and animation hit differently

Squid Game feels very real and is set in what looks like the real world. You get the sense that this sort of game could be happening around the world right now. Indeed, this is one of the reasons the show is as popular as it is, but will young people get excited about possibly playing in it one day?

We now have people competing in Quidditch games based on the ever-popular Harry Potter series. Could this lead to wealthy investors actually starting a game like this in real life? Will a twelve-year-old grow up and want to build their own death game?

The games the adults are playing are based on ones they loved to play as kids. Who wouldn't want to play tug of war? Adding the part where you die if you lose is twisted and normalizes death games in young minds.

Playing violent video games also gives you less concern for killing and watching people die, but at least it's computer-generated.

Children shouldn't spend all their time playing those types of games, but they can turn it off and get it's fake due to the animation and the fact that they're making decisions with a game controller.

In Japanese animation, survival anime shows like Gantz and Attack on Titan are set in fantasy worlds or dystopian futures. You can distance yourself, thinking this is happening in another place. It's more of a "What if" type scenario in a universe very different from ours.

Just say no to kids glorifying real-life violence

I know you think I should chill out. It's just a TV show, after all. Very true. But it's the most popular TV show in the world. You know this genre will grow and expand now that studios know the pull live-action violent games have on viewers. Is this the direction we want television to go?

In five years, will we have real-life death games we're all tuning in to watch, like in the Schwarzenegger movie, The Running Man, where people are betting on who will survive and dismissive of those that die? I'm not ready for that kind of society.

Giving children access to animated violence isn't great, but we know they have an interest. At least when it's not with actual human beings, they can see it as the entertainment it was meant to be.

If you're a parent of a pre-teen, don't share the show with your kids. Several years from now, if they're still interested, perhaps they'll be developmentally ready to take on such a violent take on kid's playground games.

Until then, keep young people away from Squid Game.

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

One of the Best Ways to Become a Better Writer

How a cartoonist’s quote helped me understand what writers truly need

Coming up with creative ideas for topics or stories to write about consistently can be challenging. Even when you get them, how can your writing feel authentic and full of life?

In an interview with cartoonist Jef Mallett of the syndicated “Frazz” comic strip, he gave simple yet powerful advice on writing for his same cast of characters week after week.

“Get a life and steal from it.” -Jef Mallett

In his opinion, only taking from other books or TV shows isn’t as powerful as swiping from your life. To do that, you need to live a little. There’s a richness to personal experiences readers can feel.

Leave your house, take risks, and then write about them.

Getting Your Dream Job Should Never Be The End Goal

I’m not afraid anymore to admit what matters

Photo by Magnet.me on Unsplash

When you get that (insert dream job), you’ll be happy. Right?

Even though you know this isn’t true, you hope it will be.

Why? Because you want to feel special. Someone chose you for that job and, therefore, success. So, you’re important. The validation you receive from the money, prestige, and professional challenge of that position will make all of your hard work up until now worthwhile.

Is there more to a career than giving all your talents to a company?

Could it be you’re afraid to see it’s really about what you’re giving to the world as well as yourself at the same time? While also giving to yourself, what you contribute to society brings you meaning—a genuine purpose.

Not just a ladder for you to climb in a career.

When everyone is telling you to strive for success, you may wonder what that means. Yes, it depends on how you think success should look, but there’s more.

My dream of becoming an art teacher came true. There are parts I love about the job. And other parts I could do without—the same for when I dreamed of working as a copywriter at a tech company. The experience was incredible in so many ways and not so fantastic in others.

I thought those jobs were my dreams come true, so everything should be perfect in my life then. They would surely be my everything and solve all my problems: no more sadness and impostor syndrome for me.

Until I realized jobs would never make me feel like a 100% success. So, how do we change our mindset and look at our career aspirations a little differently? It’s only one part of the equation.

We have to face the facts.

A job ain’t nothin’ but work

What is the reason for a job in the first place? You make money so you can pay for a place to live and have clothing and food. It’s work, but we make it into so much more—our identity. If you have to work, remove yourself from becoming the profession itself.

Turn your thinking into, “I am a human being doing this job because it adds to the world, teaches me new skills, and helps me live the life I want.”

I’ve been fortunate enough to get jobs I worked hard towards and could be considered dreams come true. I still have ultimate dream jobs, like working for an animation studio or getting a graphic novel series published, but those have to do with a combination of skill and luck. They can take more time to achieve. I’m still growing as a writer and artist and will get there eventually.

Any jobs I have are lovely stepping stones on the journey to where I want to go. Not a definition of all I am.

Making sure you’re learning valuable skills is how you give yourself better opportunities. When you see the experience you’re gaining by working the job you’re in now, it can become more than just work.

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.”
Colin Powell

Make money so you can do what you love

A “day job” can be a good thing. One that gives you the money to afford the time to do what you love is a fantastic ticket to creative fulfillment.

Keep in mind; if we get our dream jobs, they might not be how we imagine. There’s a difference between a dream and a fantasy.

If you get your dream job and hate it, is it a dream come true? Maybe what you fantasize about can never be in real life. Or, the day-to-day expectations of what it takes to do that job are not to your liking.

That’s fine. If you tried it but didn’t like it, now you know. If you’re not there yet, find interviews with people doing what you dream of doing. How does the reality of the job sound to you? Can you handle that level of stress or keep up with the expectations?

“No matter what you’re doing, try to work at that task like it’s your dream job.”
Russell Simmons

What if you have a job that doesn’t suck, pays your bills, and gives you space to work on your passions — like music, art, and writing in your free time? Is that so bad? You’ve given yourself a chance to spend time doing what you enjoy and making it a priority.

It’s not your job, so you can do the parts of your hobby or interests that are fun and schedule them when you want. It’s not a chore or ball of stress you have to manage every day. It stays your outlet.

I discovered my main goal is to get better and grow my skills in creative areas. You could choose to share your hobbies with others or keep them to yourself. Even the judgment of others is something you won’t have to deal with if you’re doing it for fun.

I’ve had plenty of jobs that were for paying the bills so I could make comics. Waiting tables was one of them, not to mention being a security guard–perfect for drawing while watching the security cameras — and even teaching gives me summers off to work as a cartoonist full-time.

Craft a life that supports the pursuit of your passions, and your dreams will quietly come true in your spare time.

Having the ability to start your own business is key

Even if you could create a business with all the skills you’ve acquired and practice you’ve put into your passion, it doesn’t mean you have to turn it into a business.

I talked about this in my previous article in the same vein here:

4 Reasons Your Hobby Should Not Become Your Business

If you’re good at something, it doesn’t have to be your side-hustle.

khalidbirdsong.medium.com

Knowing you could make it a business feels pretty good, though. If you need to make money or life takes a turn for the worst, having skills you can use to earn more dough could be a lifesaver.

Putting time into practicing your writing, drawing, and even administrative skills could be services you could sell down the line. Just know, you don’t have to make everything a side-hustle.

Creating for yourself means any style or format you choose is entirely up to you. When you want to change how you create, you won’t have thousands of fans looking for you to do it the way you always have. Or, you won’t have to worry about clients chasing you for freelance jobs.

The freedom to work on what excites you and then change when you feel ready and willing is liberating.

The true meaning of work

You’re giving to others and being of service. If you’re not doing that, find a way to add more giving to your workday. This truth once felt silly to me. I see now; sharing is what it’s all about. A job shouldn’t be just about what makes you happy only.

Work should also be about giving and helping yourself get better at something you enjoy—an actual path to fulfillment.

“You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.”
Woodrow Wilson

A dream job is meaningless if you’re not helping others in some way as well as feeding your soul.

Take these ideas to heart and decide who you want to be. How will you grow your skills, help the world, and live your dreams instead of only striving for a fantastic job?

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

An Open Letter to The Blogger Who Signs Off With "I Love You"

Isn't that presumptuous, or is it just me?

Dear Crossing The Line Blogger,

You continually write "I love you" in the sign-off of your articles like you're my lover. When I read it, it makes my insides shudder. Not in a good way, mind you. In the way, that feels like someone is coming on too strong, and I want them to back off.

I appreciate your kindness and would like a little more space between us. How about you only share your life-changing information? I get my one takeaway and can then move on in peace.

Stop acting like we have something special together. I don't know you like that. You may say you love me, but I have a hunch you don't even know how true love feels.

Here’s a sample of the end of one of your articles:

“The life you choose is the life you get. If you want new experiences, it’s your job to go after them. Take a risk, and live the good life you’ve been dreaming about.

I love you,

Jack”

Stop coming on so strong. If you think I'm smiling and feeling special because you get to confess your love each week in your articles, you're wrong.

Have you thought about how this might make your readers feel? I mean, really feel? Maybe you think you're a wonderful person who genuinely cares for others and would never do them harm, but I don’t know you.

How do I know what kind of person you truly are when you log off of your computer? You could be treating your real loved ones like dirt while telling me I'm in your love circle.

Here's a frightening thought, you could be an abuser. Your love for everyone could be crossing so far over the line, you’re saying it to every person you meet at all times.

If you're finishing at the checkout at the grocery store, for example, and the clerk gives your change, then you whisper, "I love you." Wouldn’t that be crazy?

Control yourself.

What? Am I presuming too much? I don't know you after all. Maybe you're a good person with a kind heart. You want me to know someone out there loves me. Well, I'm getting plenty of love, buddy. I don't need your empty words.

I have no desire to get love from someone who probably gets off the bus, turns around slowly, focuses their dreamy eyes on the driver, and says, "I love you." The pride you feel for making the bus driver’s day gives you a pep in your step. So much so, you catch the eye of others on the street walking by, and they can't help but say "Good morning" in response to your positive energy.

What do you say in return? "I love you," of course, and scares the heck out of them.

Are you that person who goes out with their coworkers after hours, gets drunk, and yells, "I love you?" while falling all over them at the bar? They tolerate you until you barf on Tim from accounting’s shoes.

Consumed with shame, you look up at him, with those inebriated puppy dog eyes, and exclaim, "I love you, man!"

I think it might be time to hit the unsubscribe button.

Letting you know how uncomfortable your sign-off of love feels is pretty hard, but maybe it will help you make different decisions in the future. Think about it. Saying you love me and all of your readers takes away from the power of showing it through your advice and the value you provide.

Like the phrase, "show, don't tell.” And in this case, you should definitely stop telling. Your love should already be present in the type of articles you write.

Stop ruining the vibe.

If you're always saying it, I know readers will think you're not genuine and cancel you. Like I'm about to do.

My days of dealing with discomfort because of your poor choice of words are over. Even though I’ve never met you in person, I can tell you need help. I’m good at noticing these types of things. If you learned something, I hope you’ll change how you talk to your followers.

Goodbye.

Oh, and I love you (see how cringy it feels?),

A disgusted reader

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

What You Could Be Missing About Writing on Medium

It's more than making money

Writers keep saying Medium is dying. It's not like it used to be and will never return. If you can't make good money here, why stick around?

I've been on Medium off and on for five years now, and I wish I were more active here a few years ago. You know, when writers were bringing in the big bucks. About a year ago, I started posting regularly, and I've seen slight growth in my earnings but nothing over $100 yet.

My stats have plummeted, like a lot of writers here, and I can't seem to get the attention I had even six months ago.

I'm still staying on the platform and putting time into writing on Medium.

Here are a few reasons why.

You can write whatever you like

Writing on Medium is the perfect place to sharpen your skills. Think about it. You can choose to share, teach, and tell stories about anything.

I love that I can bring up a topic I'm interested in and give my take on it. And for the most part, people will read.

Sure, it's tempting to get excited about possibly making thousands of dollars on the platform, but we should focus on what's important—improving as writers and having fun at the same time.

Medium will keep making changes

Another day, another change on Medium. Get used to it and keep writing. We can get as upset or excited as we want, but the fact is, the platform is growing and needs to adjust.

Sometimes it will work in our favor, and sometimes it won't. We can't change the fact that Medium is a business and will frequently make decisions that seem cold.

Your articles don't have to become cold, though. When you have fun writing, readers will notice. They'll also appreciate your honest, positive words as they try to navigate not only Medium but this crazy world in which we live.

Flow with the changes and continue to rise above with writing that's creative and authentically you, and watch your work last for years—no matter where you write.

Your pay will fluctuate

Depending on Medium earnings to pay your bills is a tough road. If you can position yourself with multiple streams of income from other jobs or platforms, do it.

You can't predict if your articles will generate a ton of money each month or not. Looking at your stats every 30 minutes isn't going to make them go up. Consistently producing good work every week is the main road to improving and attracting attention.

Stats won't matter as much if you do not depend on Medium for money.

It's easier to deal with the lean times when you have many different areas where your pay comes from. Try using Convertkit to start an email list. I've had one for my comics for many years but just started adding articles and advice to my newsletters. It's fun, and new people are subscribing.

My goal is to build up loyal readers who feel they receive value from my work, and I can reach out to them when I have new books or courses ready to release. A.K.A., a built-in audience.

You can make more money from freelancing

I bet my blog writing skills would snowball if I went after freelance clients. When I did this in the past, it was enjoyable to work on different projects and learn about companies to write for them. Enjoyable but with very little freedom.

The fact that I can choose a topic that interests me on Medium—not based on what a client decides—and put my spin and style on it is magnificent. I can even add illustrations I created, like in this article.

If I want to make more money, I can go back to freelancing.

Or take on a few assignments on Upwork or through LinkedIn for several months and then stop. All the while, I'm writing on Medium to get better at honing my voice and writing style.

Most of all, I'm having fun.

In conclusion

Write on Medium for the experience and pure joy of sharing what you love. When you start craving more money, start freelancing for a while to help keep your passion for Medium alive.

Decide what you're writing for and base your daily writing habit around that idea. Right now, I'm all about getting better and finding my voice. There are several topics I love writing about, but I'm looking forward to discovering more.

Article writing is helping me get to know myself and my writing voice. I'm grateful to Medium for giving me that opportunity. And, I get to make a little extra money too.

Not a bad deal at all if you ask me.

Want more? If you're struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.