Are You Like This at a Concert?

Going with or against the crowd should be up to you.

Illustrated by the author. ©2022 Khalid Birdsong

Last week, I took my twelve-year-old daughter to her first big-time concert.

For their Never Ending Summer Tour, we saw the uber-popular group OneRepublic at an outdoor venue—much safer being amongst the fresh air during covid times.

With hits like “Stop and Stare,” “Counting Stars,” and their latest “I Ain’t Worried (from Top Gun: Maverick),” we had a phenomenal time. They put on a good show.

I didn’t know that the lead singer, Ryan Tedder, writes songs and has written hits for all kinds of artists. The group spent twenty glorious minutes playing short versions of some of the songs he wrote. Like “Halo” by Beyonce, “Love Somebody” by Maroon 5, and “Rumour Has It” by Adele.

Spending the concert in a section far away, I watched most of it on the jumbotron screens where they did a good job filming all the action on stage. They also turned to the audience on occasion.

Cameras zoomed in to a part of the crowd cheering and dancing, and everyone was ecstatic except for one guy in the middle standing there stone-faced.

No emotion, no excitement.

Perhaps he was tired or didn’t want to be there. His partner or friend could have forced him to go when he’s not even a fan—come on, we’ve all been there.

Or, that’s the way he has fun. This guy doesn’t need to smile, dance, or scream at fun events like an awesome concert by one of the biggest bands in the world.

No. He’s fine, just standing there stoically, spacing out.

Could it be we all experience fun and excitement differently? His insides might have been poppin’ with joy and grooving to the beat. He doesn’t need to move. Staying completely still may be how he feels more enjoyment. Is that so wrong?

I wish I could be as comfortable as he is showing and being whatever he’s feeling at the time. It shouldn’t matter what people think.

Being a people pleaser

I enjoy making other people happy. Heck, that’s one reason why I’m an art teacher. The joy on a kid’s face when they discover how a new painting technique can make their art look more real is fantastic.

Helping others succeed is joyful to me—another reason I love writing this newsletter and sharing what I’ve learned from living a creative life.

I’m a people pleaser.

Everyone isn’t. My daughter likes doing the right thing but isn’t concerned with people pleasing. She won’t pretend to be excited about something just to make another person feel better. I was concerned for her, but now I see that she doesn’t need to be like me.

Making sure she’s kind and polite is definitely part of my job, but overall, I should let her do what feels right.

Maybe growing up with divorced parents or being the oldest child shaped me into this person, but it’s hard to deny. I’m happy being a people pleaser and teaching others to create and hopefully smile.

At the concert, everyone stood up when OneRepublic first came out and never sat back down. After a summer off, this concert was in the middle of my first week back at work. I was tired.

You better believe I sat down on the grass and stayed there for the entire time. I danced while sitting and had an amazing time.

I didn’t feel like people pleasing by standing up so that the friends who came with us or the other fans surrounding us would be happy. I wanted to listen, enjoy, and rest.

My daughter stayed standing and enjoyed every minute. Good for her.

Choose to be who you are wherever you can

Your job may make you dress a certain way or wear a uniform while at work. There are written and unwritten rules of society we have to follow.

On those rare occasions where you can decide how you will show up, make it a way that feels authentic.

I’m not an expert at noticing these times yet, but I’m improving. At least, now, when I’m invited to party or get together, or even when I’m getting up in front of my students in an art class, I realize it’s my choice how I present myself.

Normally, I choose the fun-loving playful artist persona, but if I’m feeling down, it’s okay to show that too. There’s no need to fake it to make others happy at all times. I don’t have to be the person they expect every time. And that’s fine.

I just thought of something.

What if the guy who looked upset at the concert was that way because he just noticed the camera was on him and then froze? After it switched to somewhere else, he could have started dancing and jumping back to his usual fun-loving self.

He might hate when people put cameras in his face. Who really knows?

Either way, learn to do you.

Who cares what people think? Especially at a concert.

P.S. We just had a teacher work week before starting a new school year teaching middle school. During one of our faculty meetings, we all sat in a circle, sharing how we felt about getting back to work. Many people appreciated having such amazing coworkers, and others were impressed with how safe they felt to get back on campus during the pandemic that will never end. I shared feeling more at ease than I have in several years. Partly thanks to vaccines and having students back on campus instead of teaching on video via Zoom. Getting back to being in my art room and knowing how to teach within it, even if I’m wearing a mask, is something I did last year, so it’s familiar territory. I’m not as concerned with what will come, and confident I can make a creative and warm atmosphere for my students. I see now how life and work experience can help you feel at ease with being yourself.

Discover A New Creative Life right here.

There Are Two Ways to Admire Successful People- Only One is Right

Be honest. Would you do what it takes to be as good?

Photo by Obie Fernandez on Unsplash

Success is easy for them. They're naturally talented and famous. Why couldn't I be born with such exceptional skills?

I bet that's what you're thinking when reading a book by an author you admire or watching an actor play their role superbly, and it fills you with admiration.

Perhaps, even jealousy. You want what successful people have but feel you're not ready yet. Or maybe you'll never get there.

As a writer, cartoonist, and teacher, I have friends who have succeeded further than I have and others who haven't, for various reasons. Of course, the ones who have done well have me envious of their accomplishments.

I use the word envy because jealousy sounds like I'm unhappy or upset with them—quite the contrary. I'm excited when people succeed in the arts and get to where they want to be.

I do feel it's essential to put it into perspective, though. When you see someone doing well, it looks easy. We know there's no way it's as easy as they make it look, but still, we think it's beyond our reach due to some unknown advantage they have.

Take a look at these two ways to think about what they've accomplished.

Which one are you?

1. Natural talent created their good luck

"That writer is so talented. There's no way I could ever be as good as them."

Guilty. I've uttered this phrase. Sometimes I believe it must be nice to be born with natural talent and ability, making creativity easy.

Cheering for your favorite basketball player is the same idea: natural talent can't be ignored.

In your mind, natural talent is all it takes, and you tell yourself that to avoid the uncomfortable truth.

Getting good takes hard work.

Sure, that sports star practices regularly, but they're doing it full-time. It's their job to be good, and you don't have that luxury, so it's not your time yet.

You have to work a day job and find time to practice what you love after taking care of all your responsibilities. It's so much harder.

I often feel helpless thinking about how much better I could be with more time to work on writing and drawing each day. It's easy to be envious of people who look like they were born great and have endless free time.

If you ain't got it, you ain't got it. You can make that your excuse to stop trying and sit back and watch, read, and be as jealous as you'd like because they're more special than you'll ever be unless there's more to their success than you initially thought.

2. Many years of hard work created opportunities

Talent is only one part of their astounding skill. What helps is commitment and consistency for success.

Admire their hard work as well as their talent. Successful people commit to something important to them, not only for a few months but for many years. Most likely ten or more. A lifetime even.

Putting all that time into something you're not sure will pay off is a risk. Even if it doesn't work out the way they planned, successful people know to pivot and put their efforts into something else until one of their pursuits turns into a viable business or career.

Trial and error is no fun; you must keep your mental state strong and become comfortable with uncertainty. Can you do that?

Luck does play a part, I'll admit. Meeting the right people who can put you in better situations to shine is an ingredient. Being prepared from working on your craft for years helps. If you're not ready to play in the big leagues, it could all fall flat—luck or not.

Maintaining success when you get it is also a challenge. Everyone can't keep a cool head when they're suddenly hitting it big and making more money than they ever imagined. Surrounding yourself with good people and pacing yourself can help the good times remain sustainable.

Admire the work, not the fame

I understand that you want everything you put a lot of effort into to succeed without fail, but that's not possible. If you want to achieve, you have to learn to deal with the highs and lows.

All the successful people you're envious of certainly are.

Become a person interested in making it big through consistent practice, treating others with respect, and staying positive even when reality looks bleak.

Be someone to admire by putting in the work even when life is hard, and there are zero opportunities. You'll reap the rewards, even if it's not how you imagined.

Want more? If you're struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

First, They Call You a Fool, Then They Call You Brilliant

Illustrated by the author.

Taking risks that make sense to you may look crazy to others.

Two years ago, I quit my secure art teaching job for a position as a copywriter at a large medical device company. In the middle of the school year, no less—not a wise move in education.

Most teachers wait to leave until June, when they’ve completed a full school year. A great idea if you’re moving to another teaching job. Unfortunately, the corporate world isn’t on the same schedule.

I was scared about what this might do to my teaching career but ready to tackle a new challenge in a different profession.

I worked as a freelance copywriter for more than two years while teaching full-time and was ready to transition into writing more and teaching less. Leaving education at the mid-point of the year wasn’t ideal, but I knew this opportunity would be a good one.

This doesn’t sound too crazy you might think.

I didn’t mention yet, the new copywriter job was a temporary contract position for three months with only a possibility for extension. I was taking a huge risk.

Some people called me a fool. Others, were openly encouraging, but I bet were thinking to themselves I must have lost my mind.

What if I sucked, and they didn’t extend my contract past three months? Working as a contractor can turn into a permanent position, though. They might love the work I do for them and hire me on. Would I be able to get a job in education again if this position didn’t work out?

Even I felt a little crazy. Some days I was thinking, “What am I doing?” Inside, though, I had a feeling it would all work out.

You’re always a fool until you’re brilliant

I follow matchmaker and business columnist Paul Carrick Brunson on LinkedIn and he posted this video talking about his experience with being called a fool for taking risks in his personal life and career. Until he became a success and everyone switched and starting calling him brilliant.

He invested his wife’s savings in his matchmaker business. They called him a fool. He pulled his kids out of school to homeschool them. Foolish, they said.

According to Paul, he was called a fool for fifteen years before it all changed. Now, he’s interviewed regularly on television and people are incredibly impressed with his advice and the success he’s accomplished in his business.

The thing is, this praise only started in the past five years. The first fifteen, he was called a fool. If Paul had given up and listened to the naysayers, he wouldn’t have made it past “fool” status to “brilliant” where he is now.

Have the courage to follow your inner guidance

You not only need the confidence to stick with what you know is right, but the patience to reap the benefits. We all want success to happen right away but good things take time.

Paul Carrick Brunson has been at it for twenty years. I was teaching for seventeen before moving into a corporate position. Having years of knowledge and experience can help you move out or back into a career when needed.

I’d love to tell you I’m still working the copywriting job at the tech company but when the pandemic hit, a hiring freeze ruined my chances of staying on. They did extend my original three month contract three more months. Then, added on another six months.

The medical device industry is difficult to write creatively in because of all the medical and legal regulations. You have to be very careful with the words you use and make sure to back up any promises or claims.

I was frustrated and wanted to leave after a year but something funny happened. The writing and business started making sense to me. I was getting good.

Fortunately, they extended my contract another six months. Unfortunately, the hiring freeze brought on by the fear and uncertainty of the pandemic lockdown meant I wouldn’t get a permanent position. They could only keep me for eighteen months in total, so I knew my time was running out.

I didn’t regret my decision to risk working as a contractor, though. My goal was to gain corporate experience at a tech company as a writer. My writing improved, I met amazing people, and learned a great deal.

Maybe it wasn’t the secure choice, but it was worth it.

Take the “calculated crazy” risk when you can

You know what you need to do to live the life you want. I bet it’s the opinion of others that’s slowing you down or making you feel like you’re crazy.

Ignore them. One thing I’ve learned over years of taking risks that looked kooky to others at the time but ended up working out in the end is, people will give you props and respect when you succeed.

As long as you have a plan and can see how where you’re going can provide new skills to help you become who you want to be, you’re golden.

People might not have understood your vision or goals at first, but when it all comes together, suddenly, you’re looked at as intelligent and resourceful.

Fine. Accept the kind words and don’t get upset with the fact that it took the time and effort it did. Stay in the game long enough to take risks where you win or lose, and keep going until you build something you’re proud of and garners respect.

One thing is true, the majority of people are afraid to go against what’s safe and secure.

Nothing is secure.

Even though taking calculated risks may look ridiculous to the average person. You don’t have to be an average person.

Don’t listen to the noise

My final point is one Paul Carrick Brunson pointed out in his video message. Don’t listen to the noise. Your friends and family care about you and mainly want the best, but they don’t understand your path.

You know what you have to do. They might not see it but that doesn’t mean they’re right. They care about you and don’t want to see you get hurt. Give thanks for them and ignore their negativity and fear. Do what you have to do.

As long as it’s well-thought-out and doesn’t harm anyone in the process, go for it. You can always make another decision later if it doesn’t go the way you hoped.

If only this type of confidence were easy. It’s not. To make it through, you may have to:

• Deal with feeling your heart pounding in fear in the beginning of your journey at the same time you’re holding your head up high to appear sure of yourself.

• Listen to other people’s negative comments about your choices while thinking of the reasons why you’re going about it this way so you stay confident.

• Remember, when times get tough, success is a marathon, not a sprint. It will all feel slow when you’re in the thick of it, but when you look back at all you’ve accomplished, it will all be rewarding.

I’m back teaching art again. My connections from previous schools helped me get a job in education after losing my copywriter position.

At first, I felt like a failure for only moving out of teaching for a year and a half and then having to go back. Then, I saw how what I learned transferred over to education. In fact, I was able to add communications onto my responsibilities by writing blogs and posting to social media for my school along with teaching art.

If I ever want to go back into copywriting in the future, I’ll always have the corporate experience I gained at the tech company to help.

Brilliant? You be the judge.

So far, it’s working well for me.